I came across an interesting video along my YouTube feed about four types of introverts. They were the Social Introvert, Restrained Introvert, Anxious Introvert and Thinking Introvert. The Thinking Introvert and perhaps Restrained Introvert sounds like me, however, I think I am mix of all four. Here is a link to the video: https://youtu.be/dNKQYjsxgPU .
I have come to understand (basically accept) that I am shy and introverted. And that is okay. I am uncomfortable speaking in front of others. I have foregone food until after a speaking engagement, avoided mics (I don’t want anyone to see my hand shake), gotten physically sick and lately I think I just run out of breath. I get through speaking in front of others by the grace of God and much preparation (and building confidence). There are times I get nervous presenting a workshop to students that I have even worked with multiple times. I used to know how to dance, pick up a dance, or at least manage my two feet when I was younger and around my cousins or by myself. Now, I got two left feet and won’t dare dance around anyone unless I have a bolt of joy and don’t mind feeling awkward.
I also tend to be in my head a lot. I love spending time thinking. On the flip side, I tend to also worry over if I said something right or did something enough. And I too need ample of amount of time to just be alone and recoup from being overwhelmed. If I could Thanos snap people away when I felt like it or just press pause… 😆.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love people. I love encouraging others and showing up for others. And I do genuinely interact with people, am family-oriented, and have been described as bubbly. In fact, I loved planning get-togethers with my friends, family vacation trips, and family nights. I still love planning such but haven’t planned much as of now, except family nights and maybe an outing or two with my best friend. I also like staying home most times, but I do love nature and love getting out doors.
I don’t like talking on the phone much and prefer to text. I also love reading or just watching movies. I enjoy my own company much of the time.
As an introvert and a shy person, how does this affect me as a Christian? I don’t know as I am just asking myself this. I do know that God can still get the glory from a shy, introvert like me. And it makes sense how He has given me the gifts of encouragement and mercy. I thank God that although I need time alone and love my own company, I have care and concern for others. I am not treading through life selfishly. However, on the flip side, I am learning to set boundaries. It is not good to be all about just yourself, but you do have to pour into yourself, invest in yourself, take care of yourself, create moments and space for self. Then only can you adequately and without resentment pour into someone else’s cup. God did say to love others as you love yourself. Some of us need to learn to love ourselves.
God has helped me to encourage others through my writing. God has helped me to be able to create memories and moments for others. God has blessed and will bless me continually with purposeful relationships. Just because I am an introvert and am shy, doesn’t mean God can’t still use me. Sometimes, I have to press out of my comfort zone. Sometimes (well maybe most of the time), I have to rest after. But God can and will still use me.
We are to share God’s Word and love through speech and action. Whether you are shy and introverted or not, you can still impact others with the heart and Word of God.
You may be an introvert and Christian also. But know that although these things describe your personality and are some facets to who you are, it is God that truly defines who you are. Your identity lies within Him. And with that, just don’t let these characteristics or traits, whatever they are called, keep you shut off from the world. He sent us to go into the world to spread His Word and love, to finish up where Jesus left off. And yes, do remember to take time to replenish yourself and set boundaries as you challenge your fears as well as develop good relationships and support systems. Nothing wrong with taking care of your self and mind.
Happy New Year!!!! I pray that this year is one that you continue to grow, heal, learn to trust God, have God’s peace that surpasses all understanding, and that you have joy for the joy of the Lord is your strength. And that you are healthy, laugh a lot, and live life as well as live meaningfully.
Alrighty then, in celebration of a new year and with much reflection brought upon this time, here are my 12 favorite posts I have written since the start of my WordPress and public writing/author journey.
No specific order here:
I wrote this post in relative to the release of my second book. I explored what it meant to walk in your own shoes. What it meant and what it meant for me. I remembered setting my heels out for a photoshoot for the book cover. The process for this book was fun and a great time of reflection.
2. Go To War
I love this post also. I love when God download or shall I say uploads a word to my spirit for myself as well others. It more so feels like a word for me that I get so excited about and sometimes nervous about sharing with others. Sometimes, if you are like me, confrontation and fighting scares you but there is a spiritual warfare that we as Christians cannot ignore. And God wants to teach us how to fight and how to strengthen our faith while doing so.
This is my favorite poem. I wrote this for a church service/event. Much prayer and seeking God led me to the book of Job and reflecting upon my own experience. Subsequently, this poem was birthed. Thank You, Jesus!
I wrote this post after watching an episode or entire series of Raising Dion with the youngin’. We enjoyed this series. And as usual when I watch some things I found a lesson or two that spoke to my heart. I feel like God uploaded another one to my spirit.
The Walking Dead is my favorite tv show. And I wrote this post after watching one of the episodes (I forgot the season, it may have been 9). Anyways, once again the lightbulb went on and I got another word.
I started a new series last year I believe or the year before: Tannika’s Writing Vault. This post featured a skit I wrote for church that never made it to production or event. Yet, I had so much fun writing it and preparing for it.
This is another favorite as I visited what it looked like for me as a Christian and subsequently someone else to guard their hearts. As a believer and follower of Christ Jesus, I am to guard my heart and do so intentionally, even when my flesh says otherwise.
This is one of my all time favorite posts. I wrote it for another blog titled EmpowerMoments. My time with EmpowerMoments brought a lot out of me as a writer and editor, and I am forever grateful. This post, whew, I knew it had to be another upload to my spirit from God partly because of the transparency and the grace to write it and upload it. And I love how He used a scene from a movie I enjoy watching to express a message to me that was needed.
This post is simply that, introducing my latest book, titled Bring It To The Surface: Poetry & Journal. I love my growth as a self published author. And this book, I believe showcases my growth as an author, poet, and writer. I also was so excited to bring forth something a little different than what I had done previously with my poetry books. A Journal for self reflection. A guide to self reflect and begin a journey of healing. One that allows God to bring some things or all of them to the surface but one day/step at a time.
I wrote this post because the I Am Free promo photoshoot for my first book or post for it resurfaced and it got me to reflecting on my life and struggles with anxiety and fear at the time. I felt like I either was lying or had fallen backwards since I wasn’t feeling free. So hence, the post “Was I Really Free?” came about.
11. My DIY Project
I desired to change my bathroom for awhile and finally did so. I documented the journey and thought it would be different and fun to post. I had fun painting the bathroom walls, not so much the ceiling. And I enjoyed redecorating the bathroom.
I don’t really like being on camera. I am a behind the scenes, shy one. However, I thought I would step out of my comfort zone as I thought of fun videos to do for Christmas, especially since I was in the Christmas spirit. This is what came to mind. I had fun doing the video and definitely watched my most favorite one the next evening.
So there you go! Although I love many more and I also enjoy my writing tips series and the interviews I did showcasing awesome writers/authors, and much more these are my at least my favorite 12 posts.
I don’t know if it is because of the Christmas season and day or because I am having some writing flow this week (been having Writer’s block for a while), but here is another post.
As I lie down in bed and after finishing composing my previous post, I am filled with thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. I thought of an elder who took time to teach me how to drive and pass the driving test. To this day (although unfortunately, I have anxiety and driving anxiety), I still remember the things he taught me as well as his kindness and patience. Mind you, I got my license late in the game. Another person I am grateful for is another elder who I endearingly called my god granny. Her humor, wisdom, kindness, and jazzy spirit was so amazing. I miss both of them, Elder Heath and Sister Dixon.
There are a lot of things that you may still be dealing with, but I challenge you to make a list of things and people you are grateful for. Let’s go! I just named two people. I am also grateful for a new day, a warm house, and family… The list goes on. I am thankful especially for my Jesus!!!!! Without Him, there is no me or no hope.
What or who are you grateful for?
This year went by quick but seemed so long. It is like 2021 copied and pasted 2020. The struggle was real. And we are continually learning to deal with the new normal. I was going to do a post about my year in review with more pictures, but naw. I don’t need to post anymore selfies or photos or make it all about me. This year was stressful and blessful at the same time for me and I bet for many of you all also, and that’s that. I just pray as we approach a new year that the things we need to fall off fall off so we can walk lightly and respond well in this new year as well as receive what God has for us. And learn what we need to learn to pass some tests and overcome some more things. I pray for those of us struggling with anxiety and depression to pack on courage to keep going and to take one day at a time, trusting God all the way.
Anyway, I am elated to say if you are reading this that you and I both made it to December and we are close to a new year. Although our finances may not be where they need to be, we still have a roof over our heads and food on our tables. Although we still have some more healing to do along our healing journey, we have come a long way. This year was not easy. It was stressful and heavy. This year also, I anticipated feeling depressed again on my birthday (12/10), but I actually felt ok. I even looked better despite having Covid and being in quarantine. My entire immediate family had Covid with mild symptoms and towards the end of our quarantine, we believe we also got food poisoning. But we are well today and grateful.
I know the holidays may be hard for some and many are going through right now, but I pray you have a joyous day. I pray you hear laughter, feel loved, and reach out to someone that God has just for you to touch your heart and lift your spirit and vice versa. I pray you have enough to eat. I pray that you remember those lost loved ones with a smile and that you understand that it is okay to grieve too. I pray that you are healthy or getting well. I pray that you start new traditions like watching a Christmas movie that you will watch every Christmas. Or cook a new dish and share it with your elderly neighbor or single mom. I pray that you embrace yourself through your healing journey and take one day at a time. I pray you won’t be so hard on yourself and know that you are worthy and loved by God, the Great I Am.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
Christmas In The Winter Available Now At Amazon
New Video of my reading of one of my poems, titled It’s Simply Christmas has been posted. Check it out and make sure you subscribe to my channel and like my video.
Merry Christmas Eve!!!!!
It has been so disheartening to watch so many news reports and YouTube videos of so many women of all nationalities being murdered. It is especially scary and disheartening to see the majority of these beautiful ladies are Black women like myself. And even more unsettling is the back to back stories of pregnant Black women murdered and families left wondering why. According to Nature.com article, Homicide Is A Top Cause of Maternal Death In The United States, “researchers found that US women who are pregnant or were pregnant in the past 42 days (the post-partum period) die by homicide at more than twice the rate that they die of bleeding or placental disorders — the leading causes of what are usually classified as pregnancy-related deaths” (Subbaraman 12 November 2021).
We know that this world is experiencing much darkness in these times. We also know that the nucleus of society, family (relationship), is under attack, a severe one for its value, survival, and impact on communities.
So to see women, pregnant women, back to back murdered is shocking, but not so when you remember the enemy hates mankind and our chance for reconciliation with the Father through the blood and sacrifice of The Father’s Son, Jesus. To see us alive, operating in our purpose, and glorifying God are some things the devil scoffs at like the pre-intervention Scrooge at laughter on Christmas day.
When you see or hear another story of a pregnant woman slain, you may also wonder why. You may read comments on a YouTube video of blame, shame, and assumptions. But at the end of the day, we are living in a time where social media and technology have made news of such tragedies more swiftly widespread than ever. And we are living in a time where life isn’t valued as much, and lovers of self are increasing exponentially.
So why can’t there be divine order in many of our homes where men (good, integrous, godly, provider, protector ones) will be the heads of households? Why can’t women, and if I can be frank, why can’t Black women also, be protected? Why can’t men and women value family/marriage, and one that is healthy and thriving? Why can’t bringing a child into this world be one of joy instead of dread? Why can’t wedding day be something anticipated first and prepared for just as lavishly as baby showers? Why can’t both men and women communicate their intentions, goals, and expectations honestly and thoroughly before moving forward to sex, dating, etc.? Why can’t men hold themselves accountable also when it comes to procreating? Why don’t we teach our young adults before they hit that threshold to learn problem solving and understanding consequences and accountability? Why can’t we get back to promoting love over situationships, cheating, and lack of commitment and responsibility?
NONE of us are perfect and none of us have ever made great and right decisions ALL of the time or every time. But, let us be intentional with our relationships. Let us go out into this world having hearts and minds with the intention to bring peace and not division, destruction and harm. Let us heal and grow, and value ourselves and others. Let us learn to see ourselves the way God does to be able to do the above-mentioned. Let us get God back involved in a society that is sick and hurting, needing love and healing.
The song below prompted me to think about how love, raising a family together and relationship mattered. Feel free to listen.
Forever by Jodeci