Check out my new video of my poem titled The devil’s Loss.
Category Archives: Life
Best Piece of Advice
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Life gives us experiences that can provide us with knowledge about living and give us lessons for ourselves as well as others. So, I am always grateful for advice that is from life’s experience, wisdom, genuineness, and compassion.
Here are some of the best pieces of advice I have received:
- You can’t please everyone. My mom once gave me this advice. And she was right. And, although I have made major progress in my people pleasing reform, I still have a ways to go in my journey. You can’t please everyone, and everyone may also include those you love. You will go nuts trying to accommodate and please everyone. And even if you set out to try to please everyone, someone still may not be satisfied.
- Take one day at a time. I don’t remember where I exactly got this advice, but it is definitely something I have come to learn as well as it is my life’s motto. It is often said to break a large task or goal into smaller tasks or steps as well as to study something in chunks. Life to me should be dealt with in the same manner. Take one day at a time. Do what you can today. Don’t overwhelm yourself or your schedule. Focus. Prioritize. Know when to rest and know when to go. Don’t rush life. You miss important lessons and moments. Don’t skip any steps in your journey of life, healing, etc. Don’t let life’s worries keep you in yesterday or force you in tomorrow (although I know it is easier said than done). Take one day at a time and keep living while doing so.
- Do what is best for you. My best friend gave me this piece of advice, and it was words I needed to hear. Let’s put a disclaimer here: it doesn’t mean to neglect your responsibilities or those you love. Or to do what is best for you that will harm someone else. And sometimes, we don’t know what may be best for us, so we need to seek God. Yet choosing you and doing what is best for you is necessary when you know or are learning what is best for you. When you know your deal breakers, goals, and purpose, and you are not going to compromise. When you have to protect yourself and maintain your well-being. When you remember that you are the one who has to live with the decisions you have made. When you remember that your comfort (sans comfort zone) and peace too matter.
Alright, those are my best pieces of advice. I would love to know some of your best pieces of advice.
Daily Habits That Improve My Quality of Life
What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
I will get straight to it. My daily habits that improve my quality of life are:
- Making my bed every morning. It is a small discipline that makes a big impact. “If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another”–William McRaven
- Pray or acknowledge God. Let me be honest. I am not always stopping to pray in the morning but better believe by the end of the day, I have sat down with God in my heart to say thank you, share my heart, pray for my self or someone else. And I am learning to listen more because prayer with God is a dialogue and not a bringing of a list of wants. Yes, come to Him with what you need and even discuss your wants. To clarify, bring to Him every content of your heart (everything including fears, disappointments, goals, etc.) but make sure you learn to listen to what is in His because He knows what is best for us. His purposes always come to pass and His plans always succeed. Moreover, prayer is about getting to know God and inviting Him into every area of your life.
- Read the Word of God. I don’t care if it is the YouVersion scripture of the day or a random chapter or a chapter or three of a God-led lesson I am currently studying, I read His Word. Have I missed a day or two or three? Honestly, yes, but it makes so much of a difference when I sit down to read and hear His Word.
- Another daily habit of mine is making a list of things I am grateful for. This puts things in perspective and lifts my spirit as I list all of the things I am grateful for, no matter how small they may seem.
- This isn’t daily but I go over my goals list. I have always been goal oriented and like to reflect on and assess my goals and where I am in accomplishing them.
- I also journal or work in my planner. This helps me to sort out my thoughts, plan and stay organized.
- Lastly, I make a daily habit of choosing to get up and choose peace and to better myself. Thank God for His grace to be able to do so.
You Get Better
What do you think gets better with age?
Currently, it seems that ageism is increasing, or maybe because of social media, getting more awareness.
Ageism, according to Google, is defined as prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.
It can show up in the discrimination of an elderly person applying for a job, the demonizing of young people when not understood, or the unrealistic expectations placed upon an older or younger woman.
It is scary that younger people are getting messages that they should have everything settled and figured out by 21 and that older people should stop living as soon they turn 60. Or that someone is even old at 35, 40. (This is not a license for young people to not apply themselves and start the work to figure things out or live reckless. Nor is it a license for older people to just live reckless and never mature mentally, emotionally, etc.)
We all, good Lord’s will, get older. Or are supposed to get older. If you wake up each day, getting older is inevitable. And it is NOT a bad thing. It is blessing. Some people leave this earth too soon. Moreover, some people’s dreams, goals and potential go to the grave without being brought to fruition or even to full capacity or total fulfillment.
And that part is disheartening.
So, remember, we all get older and it is a good thing. However, watching yourself change and evolve, moreso physically, can bring about a variety of emotions, and can be scary for some.
But don’t fret. Life gets better, yet.
And what gets better with age, you ask.
You.
Yes, you.
As you get maturer. As you become an adult. And as you become a grown grown person as some say, you should become better.
Not perfect. But better.
Your self awareness should be building. Your true confidence unlocking. You should be growing in wisdom. You should be more accountable and responsible. You should be busy living and not just existing. You should be awakening into the you, God created you to be.
So, with age, you get better. And life should get better. You are learning to live more authentic. You are healing. You are becoming more self-aware. You are unlearning some things to learn the right things. You are learning how to truly take care of you.
You have built up resilience and you have learned to persevere. And for some of us, you have learned when to rest and how to. You have set goals for yourself and maybe not all of them, but some of them. And you are realizing with age, it is not over yet.
Life is just beginning. Or you have come to the middle of your life where there is a plot twist, and you are in for a good treat. Especially with God leading the way.
12 Ways To Live Simply
Originally Posted on December 3, 2016
To simplify means to make something easier or simpler. We live in a work-consumed, comparing and competitive, busy and fast-paced, social-site and cellphone addicted world. Our homes and work places have become even more stressful and we are reminded daily by that tomorrow is not promised.
With that, people are desperately seeking to lead lives in which they can be more present and less stressed. They are determined to live simply in a chaotic world.
Tweet: Determined to live simply in a chaotic world. –Fruitful & Fabulous
People are downsizing their homes, switching careers, resigning from their jobs, decluttering their homes and donating used goods to help organizations. People are looking to declutter and live simply physically, financially, mentally, etc.
So, how do you begin to simplify?
- Declutter your homes, office/workspace, even emails, etc. Decluttering puts us in a great mental space as well as helps us create tidy, more organized and inviting spaces.
- Stop multitasking or at least much of the time. Many of us are great multitaskers; however, multitasking can leave us stressed and failing to give adequate attention to the tasks at hand.
- Subtract first before adding. Yes, in order to make room for something new and that something that should be occupying your time at that moment/season, you sometimes have to part ways with the old. This is even true about destructive relationships. If you are friends with or dating someone that is detrimemtal to your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being, pray for grace to let go and move on. Freeing up that space allows the right person to come in.
- Pray & meditate on God’s Word. This should have been first honestly. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things shall be added unto thee. Nurture your relationship with God first and foremost. Noone has ever regretted putting God first. He loves us beyond measure and knows what is best for us.
- Prioritize and organize. We honestly don’t know if you can find a 100% balance between everything in your life. But what we do know is that you can prioritize and organize, and make life that much better. Prioritizing also means learning to say no or when to say no.
- Delegate and ask for help. Despite the “S” we may feel like we wear on our chest, I guarantee you that even Superwoman needs help.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself and don’t overthink everything. Make sure you give yourself enough care. And forgive yourself for not being able to save the world today. We also tend to make something worse than what it is or bring something to doom in worry alone. Trust God.
- Laugh alot. Laughter is surely a great dose of medicine and a great distraction when anxious and feeling overwhelmed. Laugh a lot.
- Check your thoughts. Train yourself to fight and extract those thoughts that have no place occupying your mental space. Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus.
- Live in the moment. You can’t live in the past and you can’t go to the future but you are in the present. So Tweet: So be present in the present–Fruitful & Fabulous.
- Develop an emergency fund. That small cushion of funds saved for emergencies only can eliminate some stress and make it much easier to handle financial difficulties.
- Prepare. Prepare for the next day, assignment, trip, project, life changes as best as you can. It frees up your time and allows you to add something, if you must, or take something off your schedule.
Let’s Take This One Day At A Time Planner
I am so proud to introduce my new book, Let’s Take This One Day At A Time Planner! Just in time for Christmas and the new year. And being released in a season where I have been going through a lot as well as feeling up and down. So, we pushing through and looking forward to a new year!
To continue with the theme of my book, Bring It To The Surface: Poetry & Journal, I want to further encourage others with a special planner. I discovered that healing is continuous and living must be intentional.
Take a look!
Let’s Take This One Day At A Time Planner helps you to be intentional in taking one day at a time. This planner helps you to not only plan your week and stay organized, but also continue your healing journey and growth by being intentional in five areas: prayer, goal setting, self-care, gratitude, and reflection.
Available on Amazon now!
Current Life Lessons: This Part
October
The month of October has been one heck of a month. It started with me gearing up for FAFSA season. I was looking forward to helping as many of our high school students and their parents complete their FAFSAs (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) for college during this month, the start of FAFSA season. Then one day of the first week, I was struck by a car and was for about two weeks at home resting from my injuries. I was also granted a work from home and managed through the resting and healing to do a little paper work and correspondence. Although, I was in pain and in shock, I thank Jesus that the accident was not fatal and that I didn’t get any head injuries or fractures. I also thank God for the people who helped me that day at the scene of the accident, the paramedics, and the med team of the ER.
Update: Just recently, my church also lost an integral part of our church, one of the mothers, Sis Thompkins. She had the sweetest smile, hugs, and personality. My heart is heavy because I wasn’t able to make it to her birthday party just last month, and hug her one last time. I pray she knew just how much she was loved and appreciated. She leaves behind a great legacy. The honor from her family while she was here is evidence of just how sweet she was as well as how much she prayed for them and poured into them. I send my sincerest condolences to her family.
While home resting, some nights, I would awaken early in the morning. Now my sleep isn’t always the best but I was awaking now between 1 and 3 or 3-6 am. I remembered from a last instance where I was taught when moments like this occur you must pray. And then a video from a YouTuber and fellow sister in Christ Jesus popped up on my YouTube feed one evening reminding the same thing. Why You’re Waking Up From 3 am-6 am! From Shannon Wells was the video. It was confirmation for the next time I woke up, get to praying, talking with God, spending time in His Word, etc. And surely that next morning I awoke to a sound. I thought it was a mice scurrying but saw the shadow of trees outside blowing in the wind and hoped the sound I heard was from leaves brushing against the side of my roof, reminding me they need to be removed. I rather the leaves than a mice, lbs. And I saw my dog laid out on part of her bed to part of the floor sleeping peacefully. Surely, I thought she would have been up trying to see what the sound was also, unless it was her moving. After looking around in the dark from my bed with my phone’s light, I laid there and immediately began to pray. I didn’t scroll through Instagram or TikTok or any other one of my social mediums, which I end up doing a lot of times even sometimes in the midst of reading my Bible. I will see a verse or message, have to share, share it and then keep scrolling for awhile after on social media. I get distracted.
But I began to pray. This was the opportunity to seek God, listen to Him, and allow Him to minister to me. Or me minister to Him through worship, drawing closer to Him, and abiding in His presence.
I prayed for a little, then read a Bible plan day’s message or two, and proceeded to journal. And then I went back to reading the Word and praying. And I was praying not just for my self but for others. Interceding and crying out to God with His full armor on. I wish I could tell you one of my prayers were answered immediately or something spectacular happened but it didn’t, at least not in the natural or physical. (Update: whew, prayer time and the time in the Word was powerful, I felt it, and I give thanks to the Holy Spirit leading me in prayer.) But if I pleased God by sitting with Him, worshipping Him in Spirit and in truth, then something happened to my spirit and in the spirit realm, and I must believe so. I must have faith. Let His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
I had already learned when moments of rest or pause are brought forth that you do just that. And you focus on what it is God wants you to learn. You draw closer to God even if it’s a tiny step at a time. You pray like never before. You empty out and allow God to pour in and fill every crevice of your heart and mind as well as renew your spirit.
Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Jesus is our hope. When we hope and have faith in Him, He renews our strength.
Allow God to breathe in you and refresh you. Allow God to help you to redeem the time. Allow God to grant you the wisdom to eradicate distractions, to take every thought captive and to mind your walk and time to focus and live with purpose and according to God’s will.
Got questions talks more about redeeming the time here: https://www.gotquestions.org/redeeming-the-time.html .
I still have some discomfort and pain from the accident, and am not yet at full recovery. However, I am slowly on the mend. One day at a time.
A Word: Lean not unto your own understanding and trust God with all thine heart. Also Matthew 7: 24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
Prayer:
Help us to trust You God and to lean not unto our own understanding and to build the foundation of our lives, dreams, and goals, and so much more on the Truth, Life, and Way which is Your Son, Christ Jesus. Build on Your wisdom and Word as well as Your love and in Your presence. Help us to be not just hearers but doers of Your Word, and then we will also be able to stand. Help us to trust You with the rest of this month and November. I pray we remember You are the Comforter and we can rest in You. I pray we remember You are a healer and that by Jesus’stripes we are healed. I pray that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. And I pray we love others as we love ourselves. Thank You we can take one day at a time and You love us beyond measure. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I’m Tannika Nikeya,
And I’m out, but still here (Thank You, Jesus!)…
20 Things I Am Learning In This Season of Healing
I have been on this journey of healing for some years now. But this particular season, here are some of the things I am learning or have learned.
1. There are a lot of perspectives, opinions and views. Learn to chew the meat and spit out the bones.
2. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with where you are in life, what you need and what you want. (Talking and listening to God about such is crucial and use wisdom when sharing with others.)
3. Sometimes our hearts can deceive us or open up a door that we didn’t mean to and knew we shouldn’t open. However, we can still learn a lesson within that moment of our hearts deceiving us.
4. Healing isn’t always pretty or comfortable for us.
5. God will definitely get your attention. And the enemy will definitely try to also, and often succeed in doing so. Be vigilant.
6. You can be growing and healing yet still feel stagnant and not whole.
7. What you thought you wanted was not really what you wanted. And what you need is what you never knew you needed.
8. Insecurities can tell on you even when you think they are hiding or quiet.
9. Maintaining calmness and managing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. Neither is expressing your hurt and pain a sign of weakness.
10. People will underestimate you. You are resilient and persevering and discerning. Thank God for that!
11. Be alert. You are being watched. Be wise in your actions and speech.
12. Sometimes, you isolate yourself. Sometimes it is a good thing, sometimes not. But there are times God will separate you or call you to an “alone” season and when He does, don’t fight it. Draw closer to God.
13. You are not perfect and that is okay. You are human. God loves you: spirit, soul and body.
14. Don’t let what other people think consume you. Hold God’s view and word above others!
15. Embrace your limitations and your realities. Real talk. All the while knowing that God can do the impossible.
16. You should have set boundaries like yesterday.
17. Silence is necessary at times.
18. Gaslighting is real and yes, you can even gaslight yourself.
19. Fear and anxiety will let you get in the car but stop you from taking off.
20. You must allow God (and possibly a therapist) to help you get to the root cause of some of your issues and traumas as well as pull down the things that are holding up your strongholds.
What have you been learning in your current season of healing? Put them down in the comments below.
Getting Back To Self
Right now, you may be at the part of your journey where you have discovered that you are wanting more or even less. You may have lost your motivation or inspiration. You may be burnt out or overwhelmed. You may be leaking emotionally and much stuff is coming to the surface waiting for your discovery, acknowledgement, and healing. You may be comparing or desperately trying to create a bucket list. Your insecurities may be screaming and your career may be looking at a different you than when you first started, causing you to feel a change is necessary. Whether you are 22 or 42, or even 62, you are coming to the realization that there is more to life but the only one that can fulfill you is God. And the only one who needs you to heal the most is you because you are with you and in your skin 24-7.
I think when you get to this part of the journey, you are really looking for you. Who are you really? And what do you need here on out as you heal, grow and prepare for new seasons in your life. It is time to get back to self. Meet your authentic self. See yourself the way God does. Live life where His voice is first and yours is second.
Getting back to self requires unlearning old things that need to be unlearned. It requires healing, humility, honesty, and patience. It requires also analyzing and sometimes resetting your motives and intentions. It requires self-care, self-love, and setting boundaries. It requires being vulnerable and healing the little person inside from the trauma you have endured since birth or even since the womb. It requires time and work as well as acknowledging all of you, including your flaws and parts that you feel are unlovable. It requires gratitude and making peace with self where necessary. It requires allowing God to help you to navigate through your healing journey.
It requires you to be present and you to be you, the you God knew before you were even in your mother’s womb and the you He desired and destined for you to be.
Feel free to leave your comments below. And if you need prayer, please indicate so and we will pray for you.
Tannika Nikeya 