Do You Have A Chip On Your Shoulder

Not often do men say, “ladies first” when it is time to board the bus. So, on one particular morning this week, I was elated to see one guy lead by example and let the ladies on first. But after a couple or few of us proceeded onto the bus, commotion broke out behind me as I walked to my seat. When I turned around, there was an older gentleman who was already on the bus with the bus driver when we boarded trying to stop an altercation from esculating. Even moreso, he stood in front of a young lady, who I believe was a teen, and was trying to block and stop a man from hitting her. The man was the same one who had just let the ladies go first. Why they were fighting, I do not know exactly. He said that she hit him first and she said something about he said ladies first and something about tapping her bus card against the machine.

As security from the transportation station stepped in, it calmed down a bit but the argument started back up as the man boarded the bus and he went to the back. Both the man and the young lady were angry but I noticed his voice sounded more emotional. As their argument continued and the man got up out his seat and moved forward towards the young lady, the older gentleman who had helped prior came to the back, blocked him again and prohibited him from going any further. The young lady remained seated although she was arguing back. The security guard came to the back too to intervene. The older gentleman kept telling the man, “bro, let it go.” The man turned on the older gentleman saying something like “you’re not my bro and why do black people keep hurting me.”

I then realized this man not only was angered but he had been triggered. I don’t know what really started the altercation between he and the young lady but both could have acted differently for a much better outcome. However, the man, who was also Black like the rest of us on the bus, was the adult and he should have really let it go so it wouldnt have esculated. And no way should a grown man be hitting a young lady or calling her out of her name which he did.

I know that Black men endure a lot in this world day by day. I also know that sometimes they face a cruel and unfair justice system and just as much plight and hopelessness as any other man. But some Black men must remember Black women have to endure a great deal too in this world. And we are to be protected and respected too. Moreover, with the state of this world and the fact that we are living in the last days, a lot of people are walking around angry and with a chip on their shoulder. We are beyond stressed and triggered with even the smallest things. Nonetheless, we must build our self-control and empathy. And we have to pursue and promote healing individually and as a whole. I believe God has me in a seson of healing. I have discovered areas of brokenness in my life that God wants to heal me of, thanks to God.

Don’t dismiss your pain. Don’t dismiss another person’s pain either. Address it and let God provide you with the healing you need. Even if you get no closure from others, you can get it from God.

We cannot walk around with chips on our shoulders and be ticking time bombs. You cannot move forward from something that has never been fully addressed. That is why some people dont understand why some people can’t move forward (there other factors why also) from a loss or traumatic event. Some people say Blacks should stop talking about slavery but if it has never fully been addressed and acknowledged with true empathy and understanding, then how can we. We have to address the pain and not let it turn into a bomb. Even God addresses and acknowledge the circumstances and pain in our lives, but with the intent to heal and grow us and impact others for good.

Anyway, there is so much rage and pain in this world. Many human beings, no matter their nationality, ethnicity, social or class status are being consumed by anger. But Jesus came to give us life and life to the full and it is receivable through His salvation and your surrender. He knew we would have storms and issues in our lives. He knew this world was a hot mess and broken. But His truth, life and way are our shields. His Holy Spirit is our comforter and His Father has the last say. He is our defender and present help in the time of trouble.

I was glad that the older gentleman intervened and tried to calm the man down and get him to control himself. I reiterate that we have to pursue and promote healing. And yes God can grow you and heal you during your storm! So, where can we begin.

  • Get therapy and build a support system or find a support group and build a support system.
  • Face the truth. Receive the truth. If there is a problem, are you avoiding it? Where do you need healing? What boundaries do you need to set? Do you have anger issues? What are your insecurities shouting? What in this world is bothering you? You can take the answer to this and work towards being a part of the solution and it can lead you to your purpose.
  • Embark on a healing journey. Ask God to show you what that looks like. What do you need to heal from, and work towards facing, releasing it in a healthy manner, and growing from? Get scriptures about healing in the particular areas you need healing in.
  • Make a choice to heal and to grow daily .
  • Practice self control and feeling your emotions and then stewarding over them in a healthy way. If you are angry, don’t hold it in but find ways to release it in a safe and healthy way. You can also practice calming techniques such as counting to ten or taking deep breaths until you can sift through the anger, address or find the problem, and then find the solutions.

Im not a psychologist or therapist but I do know we all need healing from something.


Do you have a chip on your shoulder? Are you on a journey of healing? What does that look like for those who may not be on this particular journey now? How can you be intentional in pursuing healing and growth, and why is God leading this pursuit so important?

Advertisements

Life and Life More Abundantly

Hey ya’ll! Here is a Late Post for a Throwback Thursday.

Have you received what God has already made available through His Son, Jesus? Are you living or just existing?

October Experience
I am so excited to even type this. Last Monday, stage lights of orange, red, purple and blue took their turns illuminating the musicians and artists as they sang and led us into prayer, praise and worship. It was amazing; I got to check “attend Worship/Christian concert” off of my bucket list that I had written solely in my head. Oh, I also met a new friend who too came alone to the Kim Walker-Smith (w/Chris Quilala and Urban Rescue) concert. She shared with me her testimony about beginning her healing journey after losing her husband a year ago. Her quest to do something new or something she hasn’t done in awhile each month was amazing to hear.
And before the concert, I had just attended a Christian Educators’ retreat that weekend. Although I incurred an injury to my face while attempting to play baseball during free time, I still had an amazing time there too with the worship services and sessions on restorative practices, trauma care, ACES Study, and rights as a Christian in the education field. There were loads of knowledge.
Attending both the retreat and concert gave me the opportunity to not only invest in the kingdom of God and support my siblings in Christ but to also challenge my comfort zone, gain knowledge about restoration, and learn more vulnerability. Moreover, I was blessed with the opportunity to experience God’s love.

After the retreat and concert, I was off with my sisters-in-Christ to experience New York and have a little faithcation full of opportunities to elevate my faith and learn to trust God. It sounds like I have been having a great time, doesn’t it?! Yes I have, but before these awesome experiences, I faced some challenges I didn’t think I would survive. Moreover, I have been dealing with something that can rob you of the experiences and joy I was experiencing this month. Had it not been for God showing me the power of His Word, I don’t think I would have had this testimony.

Fear
Fear had been rising in me lately like yeast in bread and I had been dealing with it over the years. I thought I had overcome it but now realize it has been gripping me like never before. I didn’t realize fear can manifest in many ways and in different stages, and build in different areas of your life. God delivered me from depression but now fear was back and in the form of anxiety and panic attacks. It also appeared in the form of people-pleasing, lack of confidence, and lack of trust in God.

The mind wars, emotional drainage, the worrying, the trying to keep life perfect as well as busyness were other symptoms of fear. Literally, things would trigger my past fears or create new ones. On the outside, I am looking like I am holding it all together and all is well and behind the scenes I am, on some days, waking up crying and feeling hopeless. But I am a believer of Jesus, a joint heir, a sibling of Jesus, and God is my Father and the Holy Spirit dwells in me. So, why am I walking timidly through life and not fully walking in the freedom of Christ Jesus?

John 10:10
This summer I came across the scripture through my daily devotional reading. I had read it numerous times but this time I heard it! John 10:10

Jesus came that we may have life and that we may have it more abundantly. Now life here isn’t just any old life but the life that only Jesus can bring. It is NOT a life which Jesus becomes a genie in the bottle and wealth is hoarded. It is true life that is equipped with eternal treasures that the world cannot provide. When we accepted Jesus as our savior, it came with His life and a covenant between us and Him. It came with unfailing love, grace, joy, and freedom.

So why haven’t I walked in this fact consistently and received fully what GOD gave me through His Son?
Here are some reasons why:

  • I am listening to what others and the thief says. The devil is the father of lies and I keep listening to what he says about me instead of what God says about me.
  • I am not walking in the authority of Jesus.
  • I didn’t realize how valuable I am to God.
  • I had to begin to develop a grateful attitude.
  • I had to begin living my life in pursuit of God.
  • I have to surrender and come to the end of myself. Every area of my life belongs to Jesus.
  • I had to begin to make God my first priority.
  • I had to begin growing in my love walk.
  • I had to start to intentionally invest in God’s kingdom.
  • It is easy to go hibernate or hide under a rock when wounded, drained, or just need thinking and alone time. I had to remember that life is about relationship and discipleship and I can’t always isolate myself.
  • I had to learn to receive and not just give. I had to even learn to receive from God for myself.
  • I had to learn that life is a process, becoming spiritually mature is a process, and my faith walk is a process.

I want to experience as well as walk in the freedom and life Jesus came to give me so that I can fulfill my destiny here on this earth.

Now I am on a mission, to live simply, fruitfully, and purposefully. I want to experience as well as walk in the freedom and life Jesus came to give me so that I can fulfill my destiny here on this earth. That life He was talking about was already provided for and given to me so now it is up to me to claim what became mine through my covenantal relationship with Jesus.

He doesn’t want me or you to be paralyzed in fear, unafraid to seize our destinies, and too comfortable to not step out in faith.

I want to live and let Jesus continue on in His work through me. Life can be tough and life is not perfect. We are not perfect. Life can also be scary from time to time but God did not give me or you a spirit of fear, but that of power, love, and a sound mind. He doesn’t want me or you to be paralyzed in fear, unafraid to seize our destinies, and too comfortable to not step out in faith. He doesn’t want us with neither countenances of despair nor visages of defeat. He want us to realize who we are in Christ Jesus and how valuable we are that He would give His only begotten Son to die for us and give us life and life to the full.