Join me on a transformative journey as we explore the depths of healing, growth, and self-love in “Healing Journey: Playing Back Your Mental Tape.” This video was inspired by a post I wrote for my blog in 2021. In this heartfelt video, we discuss how we must address the things on our mental tape because they can shape how we see ourselves and the world around us. From childhood memories of feeling different to navigating adult heartaches, I too bravely share some things that are on my mental tape. But I didn’t just stop there with acknowledging these things. I embarked on a healing journey.
Learn how faith, self-reflection, and open conversations can pave the way for healing and understanding. Together, let’s break free from generational curses and embrace our worth. Like and share this video to inspire others on their journeys.
To read my post that inspired this video, please click on this link: https://stcfpoetrybook.com/2021/07/01/playing-back-your-mental-tape-bring-it-to-the-surface/
Category Archives: Love Yourself
I Feel You, Sam (Captain America)
Recently, I went to see Captain America: Brave New World with my family. I really enjoyed it and definitely recommend you go see it too. But that’s not the only reason I’m writing this post.
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In Captain America: Brave New World, Sam Wilson, a.k.a. the new Captain America, visits Joaquin Torres (the Falcon) in the hospital after Joaquin is severely injured during one of their recent missions. During their conversation, Joaquin shares how Sam’s work as the Falcon inspired him when he was younger, showing the profound impact Sam has had on others. In response, Sam expresses the weight of his new role, saying, “If I’m not on point, I feel like I’m letting down every single person that’s not at that table. That pressure, it weighs on you, makes you wonder if you’ll ever be enough.”
I felt that.
And I am sure many of our leaders, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., have felt like Sam also. The responsibility of being Captain America is immense. Sam’s words capture the burden of leadership, and the sense of inadequacy that often accompanies such a heavy responsibility. As someone who has worn many hats in life—oldest child, eldest daughter, educator, caregiver, encourager—I have often found myself feeling overwhelmed by the weight of my own responsibilities. The busy schedule, the expectations of others, and my own high standards have sometimes left me questioning whether I’m enough. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, and the pressure of being the first to “bust through the doors,” carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, can be exhausting.
Leadership isn’t easy. Being a caregiver isn’t easy. Being the “go-to” person or the one who “fixes” things isn’t easy. But like Sam, I’ve learned that, despite the weight, you can still make an impact.
Through all of this, I’m learning that God doesn’t want me to rely solely on my own strength. He calls me to seek His wisdom and grace in leading, in being, and in doing. He reminds me to love others as I love myself—and not to forget the second part: to love myself. I am enough, imperfections and all. I don’t have to be perfect, and I’m not called to be God for others. My role is to help others within the capacity He gives me, trusting that He will continue to send others to support me along the way.
Lastly, I am learning to bring my weariness and burdens to the Lord.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." — Matthew 11:28-30
What They Say
Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.
Faithful
One thing I hope people say about me is that I am authentic. And I hope people continually say what people have said about me and to me. That it is easy to share things with me or talk with me. I am trustworthy. They can count on me.
That Part
However, I am reaching that part of my life where concerning myself with what people think needs to hang out the window by a thread or be my view from across the street, and not my focus. Worrying about what others think can cost you living life and cost you your peace. Their opinions will be louder than God’s perspective and wisdom. You may be giving, trustworthy and serving like myself but mix people pleasing, anxiety, overthinking, and some unhealed factors into the mix, things can go haywire, and one can suffer unnecessarily as well as your authenticity can dwindle. So, be humble as well as chew the meat and spit out the bones of others’ opinions and advice. Heal and grow, and don’t worry about what others think. But do be authentic and do be kind.
Proverbs 29:25 MSG
[25] The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.
The Healing Continues
So, I will now spend more time practicing what I say to myself. What do I hope I say about myself? And last but not least, what do I hope Jesus has to say about me.
WJWS, I Pray
“Oftentimes, she was afraid. She even stumbled, but she persevered with my grace and love. She overcame. Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Philippians 4:6-9 NLT
[6] Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. [7] Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. [8] And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. [9] Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
2023 Coming, Get Your Planner Today!
God Wants You To Love Yourself
Before I begin let’s note one thing. Lovers of (your own) self (only) and loving yourself are two different things.
You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!
2 Timothy 3:1-5 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/2ti.3.1-5.NLT
For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy….
2 Timothy 3:2 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/2ti.3.2.KJV
Lovers of self and themselves only is how one is consumed with themselves and their desires only. They are selfish and always put their own desires and needs before others. In reality and biblically, sometimes you will have to consider others and their needs. And there will be times when you will put their needs before your own.
Another thing to look out for that is in line with lovers of self is the following. If you make yourself or your desires idols or are constantly obsessing over being and doing better, those too can be idolatry. There is a wearing ourselves out to get rich and for some wearing ourselves out to be better. Both can be weary, greed, and idolatry. And when we are trying to do things without God, over pursuing wealth or riches and “better” can consume us or weary us as well as can be a detriment to the people around us.
Now, it is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved, successful, wealthy, and/or the best versions of ourselves. But without God, it is futile. Obsessing and draining our very being to obtain such can wear on our souls and can lead us astray.
Your love for yourself should not put others in danger. It should not cause hurt. However, your love for yourself may challenge some people, especially those who are out to manipulate you or control you (and you don’t have to subject yourself to mental abuse). But, it should never danger someone or make someone feel they are an inconvenience or not worthy of love (agape) themselves. To further expound, your self love should neither be marked with pride and selfishness, nor lead you to hurt someone.
Furthermore, you should not obsess or worry about what others think. However, don’t shun away every criticism or perspective. Chew the meat and spit out the bones. Just maybe that person is not a hater. Just maybe they are bringing you the truth and in love.
Loving God and yourself are crucial because it helps you to love others from an adequate, good place, and with joy.
Loving yourself is commanded. It is imperative that you love yourself and through God’s truth and love. Learning to love yourself shows that you are learning to see yourself through God’s eyes, that you are learning to receive God’s love, that you are finally realizing your worth. Learning to love yourself moves you to set boundaries, do things more with the right motives, be unafraid to face yourself, love people properly, to not seek validation from man more than God, realize who you are in the Father, and carry yourself with dignity.
Your calling is to fulfill the royal law of love as given to us in this Scripture: “You must love and value your neighbor as you love and value yourself!” For keeping this law is the noble way to live.
James (Jacob) 2:8 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/jas.2.8.TPT
Think of how Jesus carried Himself, how He knew Himself, how he loved the Father and others, how He set boundaries and held to His standards.
God has given me grace to speak a warning about pride. I would ask each of you to be emptied of self-promotion and not create a false image of your importance. Instead, honestly assess your worth by using your God-given faith as the standard of measurement, and then you will see your true value with an appropriate self-esteem.
Romans 12:3 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/rom.12.3.TPT
So, go right ahead and learn to love yourself. Begin that healing journey. Don’t think only of yourself as 1 Corinthians 10:24 says. Dont think too high of yourselves but don’t think low of yourselves either. Ask God to see yourself through His eyes, His perspective. Don’t forget yourself. Practice self-care. Give attention to yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. Protect yourself and what God has placed within you. Be grateful and give yourself mercy. Allow God to show you how much He loves you and adores you.
Learning to love yourself is courageous. It is bold. It is freedom. And it helps you to provide love to others in a way that is authentic, meaningful and whole.
John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
I exhort you this week to ask God to help you to learn to love yourself and Him. And to receive His love for yourself. And to express it to others. May you feel safe, loved, and remember that the joy of the Lord is your strength. In Jesus’ name, amen.
As I went researching some things, I came across an article that was so good! Check it out.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/self-love-toxic-behavior_l_6216753ae4b0ef74d729b591
Tannika Nikeya 