Sometimes, the best wisdom comes from women who have walked through the valley and are still learning to keep their eyes on the hills. Welcome to our new series: Valley Hill Apartments!
Jas removed the last clip-in extension from her hair and stared at her reflection, a full head of curls framing her face. For a moment, she could almost see her younger self standing in the same bathroom, smoke curling from a hot comb as she fought humidity and prayed for a life far away from Valley Hills.
Back then, she thought escape meant freedom.
Now she understood: no matter how far you run, God has a way of bringing you exactly where you need to be.
A loud bang at the door shattered her thoughts.
“Jasmine Marie! Open this door!”
Jas froze. Only her mother used her full name.
She opened the door slowly, but her mother pushed inside anyway.
“You move back and don’t tell me?”
Jas admitted softly. “I didn’t know how to face everybody.”
Her mother crossed her arms. “Face us for what?”
Jas looked around the apartment, boxes stacked against worn walls.
“After Joseph died everything fell apart. I spent so much time running from grief, running from this place.” Her voice cracked. “But I think God brought me back for a reason.”
The anger left her mother’s face almost instantly.
“I told you a long time ago,” she said gently, pulling Jas into a hug. “You can always come back home.”
Outside, tenants had gathered beside the building around folding tables crowded with food and laughter. One by one, old faces recognized her.
“Jas?!”
“Girl, is that you?”
Then someone asked the question she’d been dreading.
“Where’s Joe?”
Jas swallowed hard and told them everything.
When she finished, nobody judged her. They prayed with her, hugged her, fed her, and promised to help restore the building together.
Tanya handed Jas a bowl of baked macaroni and cheese.
One bite in, warm and familiar, and for the first time in a long while… Jas felt home.
Sis, you can always come back home. And sometimes, home is a place where a new you can still have hope and love.
Sometimes, the best wisdom comes from women who have walked through the valley and are still learning to keep their eyes on the hills. Welcome to our new series: Valley Hill Apartments!
A Poem for a Flower
Written by Tannika Nikeya
Hello, I am Rose. I moved to Valley Hills Apartments last year. In the middle of the night, I found myself hauling in bags of all I had managed to quietly take with me. And it wasn’t much at all.
Today, I sit here by my kitchen window, slowly sipping my hot chamomile tea. My eyes follow a cardinal, happily chirping along a tree, and then drift to a soft white flower sitting alone amidst the grass. I exhale a long sigh.
I wonder if the flower is lonely, like I had been.
I had once sat alone just as quiet as that little flower—but brokenhearted and lonely. I endured gaslighting and chaos, and felt every petal of my soul being stripped away until I became a shadow of myself.
But as I sit here in my kitchen, something shifts.
I begin to write a letter to a flower…
from the depths of my heart.
In the backyard all alone Sitting in the mud and dirt Among rocks and stone Your leaves withered, withdrawn Wishing you were placed On a manicured lawn
The acknowledgments, the daily sustenance You once received Have dried up like your leaves Your wardrobe is dull—renewal must begin within You may not be the prettiest flower Feeling like you are about to break, not just bend, in the wind
How long will you wait For someone to water you to grow To tell you to soar To give you value Just because they walked through nature’s door?
Stand tall—get up on your feet Encourage yourself Stretch in hope You’ve got goals to meet Air to breathe Rooms to impact You don’t have to shrink Let the sunlight hit your face And take your joy back
Your worth is not predicated On what they say, see, or do No one can validate Or invalidate you
You’ve known seasons of hiding Of feeling like you died Until the true Lover of your soul Breathed—and brought you back alive
You’ve lost hope Wanted to run away But you learned to be still When noise and storms surrounded you He quieted you and you began to heal
They said you had no value Said you wouldn’t last long Said other flowers were prettier And although you felt weak, you remained strong
The trees whispered about you; They gave you a different type of shade, Shifted their leaves so the heat can make you weary and fade
But you are not doomed Look up to heaven Receive your true Lover’s grace to bloom
It’s not over Life is just starting He stays close To the brokenhearted
Each day you rise—just walk At your pace Wipe your face Rest… yield Dance in the field And brighten the day Let the birds see your resilience in every way.
They may stop to admire you Take in your view But remember who you are Deep within you
Some may try to pluck you Or take you along But stay rooted Remain where you belong
Even when others walk away Stand still; know you’re divine Humble posture Fearfully and wonderfully made You are His design Continue to grow in His perfect time
Sis, there is courage within you. See yourself the way God does. Your worth is not determined by others. He deemed you worthy before He placed you in your mother’s womb. So show up today… and begin to bloom.
Sometimes we talk about healing like it’s a straight path, a perfect glow-up, or an isolated quiet spiritual moment. But healing–real healing–is none of those things. And in this season, God is teaching me what healing is not and why this journey too needs grace.
Seven Things Healing Is Not:
🫶🏾 Healing is not linear:
Progress rarely looks like simple forward motion. Sometimes, it’s a zigzag, a series of setbacks, necessary pauses, or even chaotic. And that is perfectly okay. Healing isn’t an easy journey or a straight line; it loops back because God heals in layers.
🫶🏾 Healing is not glamorous:
It’s just not pretty at times and it could leave you feeling like a hot mess. There are days when your glow dims, your soul feels heavy, your reflection is unrecognizable, and you wonder if you’re unraveling instead of recovering.
But sometimes your most “unglamorous” days are the most honest, most holy days, because you’re finally not pretending.
🫶🏾 Healing is not comfortable:
Growth stretches you. Confronting truth humbles you. Letting go breaks you before it frees you. Healing will make you face versions of yourself you thought you left behind — and God will use it all.
🫶🏾 Healing is not always quiet:
Healing can be loud—filled with the sound of tears, raw prayers, honest cries, and the truth you’ve swallowed for too long. Sometimes, it is the audible sound of a heart finally being unburdened after carrying too much for too many years.
You don’t have to be ashamed when your healing gets loud. But do allow God to comfort you and nurture you through the uncomfortable sounds of healing.
🫶🏾 Healing is not a one-time thing:
It is a continuous journey. This is not because God is slow, but because we are complex, layered, and deeply loved. Healing involves revisiting old wounds with new wisdom, new strength, and the fresh understanding that inviting God in can bring.
🫶🏾 Healing is not done in your own strength or wisdom:
You not only need a loving, strong support system, but you need Jesus also as the head and part of that support system for this tough journey.
Real healing requires His presence, His power, His truth, and His grace. You are simply not meant to navigate this process in your own strength.
Healing is a partnership with the Lord, not a solo mission.
🫶🏾 Healing is not void of accountability:
True healing often requires taking responsibility for our choices, setting and enforcing boundaries, and being radically honest with ourselves and others.
Without accountability, genuine growth can stall or even go in circles.
And lastly, we may not be responsible for every pain or trauma, but we are ultimately responsible for our healing process.
Sometimes what people say sparks judgment… or it sparks reflection. Here’s what Ayesha Curry reminded me about fulfillment, identity, and walking with God through it all.
Ayesha Curry is being dragged online for saying she never wanted to be married or have children — that she wanted to be a “career girl.”
It made me think of these statements I heard before: that a curly-haired person often wants straight hair, and the one with straight hair often wants curls. The single woman may envy the married one, and the married woman may envy the single one. You get the point — so many of us wrestle with some kind of discontentment, and we never really know deep down what is going on with someone or what is happening behind the closed doors of their homes.
So, instead of joining the dragging, I felt led to turn this into a moment of reflection — and encouragement.
Ayesha isn’t the first woman to express this kind of longing or unfulfillment. But she must be careful about oversharing and processing deeply personal pain in public spaces. She’s mentioned going to therapy, which is good — but I hope she’s also doing the heart work with God. Because therapy is helpful, but true healing happens when we let Jesus into the process.
When I’ve had to face my own pain, I’ve asked God to show me the root causes — the “why” behind the hurt — and to lead me forward. Healing with Him hits differently.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned that I think we as women — especially Christian women — can remember when we feel unfulfilled or lost:
1. Only God can fulfill you. No person, title, or situation can do what only the Creator can.
2. Nobody can keep you happy forever. Happiness is fleeting. True joy is rooted in God, not in circumstances.
3. Know who you are outside of your roles. You are more than your job, your family, or your church position.
4. Rediscover what lights you up. Don’t get lost in others’ expectations. Find your God-given passions and purpose.
5. Don’t make “the good girl,” “church girl,” or “career woman” your identity. Those are titles, not your essence.
Note: this is not saying go out and sin. It is not saying go out and be wordly. It is not saying that “good girl,” “church girl,” or “career woman,” are bad. But what it is saying is your identity should not be wrapped up in these titles, positions, etc. Your true identity is found in Christ. And if we fail to maintain perfection, some of us will be crushed under a false standard of perfection that can never be obtained. Instead aim to make right decisions, not forsake the assembling of ourselves with other believers, live life on purpose and in purpose. Aim to please God and not man. Aim to live a life that is full and enriched.
6. Embrace all of life’s seasons. The dull and hard ones often teach us the most about ourselves and about God.
7. Evolve and grow. You won’t be the same ten years from now as you are today. Let God continue shaping your heart to reflect His Son.
8. Reinvent yourself if you need to. If you know you want a simpler lifestyle or to grow more confident, take steps toward creating the life you need — one that also honors God. Maybe you want to freshen up your wardrobe, travel more, or step into your “rich auntie” era — do it! Just check your motives.
Are you doing it to seek validation only, prove something, or outshine someone? If so, pause and reflect. But if you’re doing it because you’re healing, growing, and wanting to live more fully, go for it.
And don’t allow people to box you in. You don’t have to stay stuck in who you used to be or in the image others have of you. Grow, evolve, and glow up — with God leading the way.
9. Develop a heart of gratitude. But don’t neglect the room for grieving the life you thought you should have had, or wanted, or have yet to experience within your healing journey. Sometimes we don’t know what we truly want when we’re younger. Grieving is natural and necessary, but there are things, some so small yet so monumental, to be grateful for.
10. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. And get back to living. Sometimes we need to hear our own pain. And sometimes we need to refrain from constantly rehearsing our pain and get back up and live — living the life that allows us to breathe again. Not perform. Not live in someone else’s image of us. Not constantly going and never stopping to rest and enjoy that which or who is around us.
So be encouraged, Ayesha — and to the rest of the ladies who may also feel lost, unfulfilled, or just need to get off the spinning wheel or out of the box of the world or others’ expectations.
You have dimmed your light for too long That you have adjusted your vision to the dark. Now I’m going to need you to open up your heart.
And see yourself the way God does. You need to be brave. I know the world seems to cave In, on all sides. I know you feel like you are falling apart But you will rise to the top And all your pieces will come together From a version of you that is healed and better.
Don’t give up. And don’t let go of His hand. He will give you the wisdom and grace to stand. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Take one day at a time Until you land Where God is taking you to expand And be full of His joy.
You’ve been feeling like a failure But trust — you are going to win. You won’t be the same tomorrow as today Don’t give up You will eventually be okay.
Join me on a transformative journey as we explore the depths of healing, growth, and self-love in “Healing Journey: Playing Back Your Mental Tape.” This video was inspired by a post I wrote for my blog in 2021. In this heartfelt video, we discuss how we must address the things on our mental tape because they can shape how we see ourselves and the world around us. From childhood memories of feeling different to navigating adult heartaches, I too bravely share some things that are on my mental tape. But I didn’t just stop there with acknowledging these things. I embarked on a healing journey.
Learn how faith, self-reflection, and open conversations can pave the way for healing and understanding. Together, let’s break free from generational curses and embrace our worth. Like and share this video to inspire others on their journeys.
I was inspired to write this post after God gave me a word of encouragement for my loved one and subsequently a reminder for myself. We are living in such uncertain times, but God is faithful, and He wants us to trust Him more than ever. The despair can sometimes be overwhelming and leave us in a paralyzed state. But we must believe God to get up. There is also a video of encouragement now up on YouTube, so check that out as well, and please share for those who also need encouragement: https://youtu.be/ltPcmKs92uE?feature=shared
It is hard to come out of despair when depression and sadness weigh you down.
What about the years of disappointment and sickness?
Hopelessness and financial hardship?
Stress and fear that feel never-ending?
When life shifts painfully and unpredictably, we wonder:
Does God still care?
Because honestly, He seems silent… and absent in the pain.
You’ve been waiting on this long road for someone—anyone—to finally stop. To finally see you. To finally help you into your miracle. Your healing. Your breakthrough. Your new beginning. Your change.
You begin to wonder: Maybe God doesn’t care that I’m at my breaking point. Maybe this is punishment. Maybe He won’t come through this time…
You feel weary and stuck. Life has bruised you and kept you in a place where you’re both hurting and somehow comfortable in the ditch of despair.
Yes, trials and tribulations are part of life in a broken world. Sometimes, we suffer because of our own choices and sin. Other times, simply because life happens. And sometimes, we suffer for Christ’s sake. But no matter the reason, God uses every trial to build character, deepen our faith, and draw us closer to Him.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” – Romans 5:3–4
Still, it can be hard to rejoice and even feel grateful in the midst of suffering — especially when the weight of it all feels like it’s choking the very life and hope out of you.
Yet, we must remember that this too shall pass and that our trials are temporary. We must also allow ourselves to grieve and give ourselves grace during this time.
And when Jesus walks up beside you — yes, you — and asks, “Do you want to be healed?” Don’t respond with who didn’t help you. Don’t explain why you think healing is impossible.
Just say… Yes
Receive His healing. Receive His care. Receive His love.
Let hope beat loudly in your heart again.
“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.” – Romans 5:5
His love never fails. His promises are yes and Amen. His grace is enough. And His salvation carries a love stronger than any present trouble.
Jesus is on His way, and He sees you. He has counted every sleepless toss and turn. Every tear is recorded in His ledger. Every ache etched in His book (Psalm 56:8).
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11
This season may be dark. But there is light — because there is God. He sees you. He values you. He weeps with you. Even if your tears fall in the rain — He will not lose one.
Like the man at the Pool of Bethesda, you’ve been lying there waiting. You may be surrounded by others who are hurting, too. But Jesus sees you. He knows your exact condition. He wants to lift you up with His love and raise you out of despair.
“One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, He asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?’ ‘Sir,’ the invalid replied, ‘I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred…’” – John 5:5–7
But this is not about who helped you — or didn’t. This is about who is standing before you now.
Jesus.
Will you doubt Him because it’s been so long? Or will you say yes and receive?
Don’t worry about the others who got healed first. Jesus has more than enough for you.
You tried before. You struggled. But now, it won’t be by your strength.
And once you say yes…
“Then Jesus said to him, ‘Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked…” – John 5:8–9
The man was healed instantly. But Jesus didn’t stop there. He told him to pick up the mat and walk.
Trust that when God speaks a word over your life, it will not return void. Trust that He wants you whole. Trust Him — and don’t forget your mat.
Because you won’t be in this place anymore.
And you don’t need to leave it behind for someone else to lie on.
That mat will become a testimony: proof that you’re not who you used to be. And proof God stopped beside you, saw you, and brought you out of a place you’ve been too long — all because He loves you.
May God heal you deeply — inside and out. May your healing overflow and become a blessing to others. May you rise from this place of despair with holy boldness and walk into the future He’s already prepared. May your faith pulse through your steps.
I am seeking continual healing. As I mentioned before, healing is a process and an ongoing journey. And healing isn’t just for your body, but for your mind, your heart, your spirit, your finances, and your relationships. And I want healing to permeate every area of my life.
Healing is crucial to have a clear mind, light heart, and a different outlook that allows you to respond from a healed place, not from a place of pain, projection, or fear.
And I am seeking security. When you are healed or continually healing, you feel more secure. Security or feeling secure pertains to feeling safe and having certainty, soundness, and stability.
Like many women, and due to my own trauma, I want to feel secure. But to be honest, I will assume that all human beings, male or female, want to feel safe and sound. I want to feel safe and not just physically. I want to feel safe to be myself and express my heart. I want a stable future. I’m not aiming to always be in survival mode but in thriving mode.
“I am seeking security and healing… and adventure will follow. Life is an unfolding adventure, and I choose to walk it whole.” – Tannika Nikeya
And so I am seeking security and healing. And I am taking the necessary steps for such. Acknowledge pain, sin, and fears. Seeking counsel and taking accountability. Setting boundaries and learning to enforce them. Doing the work to create the life God and I approve of. Healing my finances and allowing God to also heal my heart. I’m getting my affairs in order as the saying goes. This is all healing homework.
And with the healing journey and our preparations for the future and making things right in the present comes adventure. Adventure will tag along through every lesson, blessing, ups and downs, storms, setbacks, revelations, memories, and moments. Life is one big adventure, and I pray grace for us to all to trust God, grow, heal, learn to pivot and persevere, and live life to the fullest.
These past few weeks, I have been reading the Word of God, praying, reading my devotional my colleague got me, writing down what the Holy Spirit has been uploading to my spirit. And doing my reflection, journaling, and planning in my CPR2 planner all consistently. These times have been so sweet and fulfilling. Thank You, God, for drawing me closer and being present. Thank You for also working with me. I am a work in progress and healing continually.
Fight anxiety with love and intention, resilience, and patience.
Sometimes, being anxious is normal. Maybe you are anxious about an exam, and that is okay. But when you are constantly worrying, experiencing chronic stress, and in constant fear and it is interrupting your ability to enjoy life, maintain your emotions, and get out of your head, you may need support to overcome a possible anxiety disorder. An anxiety disorder is a mental health condition where anxiety goes beyond normal levels of worry or fear and starts interfering with daily life. It involves intense, excessive, and persistent worry or fear about everyday situations—even when there’s no clear danger.
Anxiety can be inconvenient, crippling, embarrassing, and overwhelming. But we can fight anxiety, and it doesn’t have to feel like a life sentence.
Here are positive ways to care for your mind and spirit:
Check out the new video! Then, if you too struggle with anxiety, list some other coping mechanisms or things that help you deal with anxiety and overcome anxiety attacks.
Tannika Nikeya 