by Tannika Nikeya

What They Say

Tell us one thing you hope people say about you.

Faithful

One thing I hope people say about me is that I am authentic. And I hope people continually say what people have said about me and to me. That it is easy to share things with me or talk with me. I am trustworthy. They can count on me.

That Part

However, I am reaching that part of my life where concerning myself with what people think needs to hang out the window by a thread or be my view from across the street, and not my focus. Worrying about what others think can cost you living life and cost you your peace. Their opinions will be louder than God’s perspective and wisdom. You may be giving, trustworthy and serving like myself but mix people pleasing, anxiety, overthinking, and some unhealed factors into the mix, things can go haywire, and one can suffer unnecessarily as well as your authenticity can dwindle. So, be humble as well as chew the meat and spit out the bones of others’ opinions and advice. Heal and grow, and don’t worry about what others think. But do be authentic and do be kind.

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭29:25‬ ‭MSG‬‬
[25] The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.

The Healing Continues

So, I will now spend more time practicing what I say to myself. What do I hope I say about myself? And last but not least, what do I hope Jesus has to say about me.

WJWS, I Pray

“Oftentimes, she was afraid. She even stumbled, but she persevered with my grace and love. She overcame. Well done, good and faithful servant.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6‭-‬9‬ ‭NLT‬‬
[6] Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. [7] Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. [8] And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. [9] Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

07.14.23

by Tannika Nikeya

You Get Better

What do you think gets better with age?

Currently, it seems that ageism is increasing, or maybe because of social media, getting more awareness.

Ageism, according to Google, is defined as prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.

It can show up in the discrimination of an elderly person applying for a job, the demonizing of young people when not understood, or the unrealistic expectations placed upon an older or younger woman.

It is scary that younger people are getting messages that they should have everything settled and figured out by 21 and that older people should stop living as soon they turn 60. Or that someone is even old at 35, 40, and there is nothing left in life for them. Assinine thinking. (This is not a license for young people to not apply themselves and start the work to figure things out or live recklessly. Nor is it a license for older people to live recklessly and never mature mentally, emotionally, etc.)

We all, good Lord’s will, get older. Or are supposed to get older. If you wake up each day, getting older is inevitable. And it is NOT a bad thing. It is blessing. Some people leave this earth too soon. Moreover, some people’s dreams, goals and potential go to the grave without being brought to fruition or even to full capacity or total fulfillment.

And that part is disheartening.

So, remember, we all get older and it is a good thing. However, watching yourself change and evolve, moreso physically, can bring about a variety of emotions, and can be scary for some.

But don’t fret. Life gets better, yet.

And what gets better with age, you ask.

You.

Yes, you.

As you get maturer. As you become an adult. And as you become a grown grown person as some say, you should become better.

Not perfect. But better.

Your self awareness should be building. Your true confidence unlocking. You should be growing in wisdom. You should be more accountable and responsible. You should be busy living and not just existing. You should be awakening into the you, God created you to be.

So, with age, you get better. And life should get better. You are learning to live more authentic. You are healing. You are becoming more self-aware. You are unlearning some things to learn the right things. You are learning how to truly take care of you.

You have built up resilience and you have learned to persevere. And for some of us, you have learned when to rest and how to. You have set goals for yourself and maybe not all of them, but some of them. And you are realizing with age, it is not over yet.

Life is just beginning. Or you have come to the middle of your life where there is a plot twist, and you are in for a good treat. Especially with God leading the way.

03.28.23

by Tannika Nikeya

Huh? Raising Relatives pt 2

Parenting (whether you are biological, foster, adoptive, legal guardian, or relative) has its challenges and ups and downs. And sometimes non-traditional parents like foster, adoptive, relative/caregiving face a lot of judgments, backhanded compliments, curious questions, and criticism they don’t need. They don’t need to be asked questions that produce shame or offense and have no impact on the child’s well-being.

I am raising my nephew, and this week, I got offended, not the first time, but this time by a professional we had to see. Although he is not my son, he is still my child. I have raised him since a toddler, and I love him dearly, like my own. So, the professional asks me if her medical assistant addresses me as mom or aunt. I said, “mom.” I work in the education field, and when a student comes in to work with their female parent, I assume mom. That is just natural. I often learn after that the guardian/parent may be specifically a grandparent or foster mom raising the student. And, sometimes, I still call the female parent mom unless I hear the student or parent say otherwise. It really wouldn’t concern me what the specific title is of the parent or guardian is. It’s none of my business, as long as the student is safe, the person is actually on the school records as the parent/guardian or approved by the parent to temporarily advocate, and the student is on track academically and postsecondary-wise or getting the help to be on track.

Anyway, I was suggested by the professional who we were there to see to let her medical assistant know I am the aunt. My response was backed by confusion as to why it was necessary. However, my response was that I let people know that I am the aunt. The professional knew I was the aunt as it had been indicated. In fact, I have clarified with many people that he is my nephew.

Do I have to wear a sign that says “I am his aunt,” especially if paperwork states who I am and people close to us as well as other important people know that I am the aunt?

I have never forced my nephew to call me mom and in fact he is always auntie this and auntie that. Nor am I trying to replace his mom who is my sister and I also love dearly. I may not be a biological parent or traditional one but I am a parent. And my mom did mention to me it is how you present yourself. I have not always been as confident as a parent or advocate as I should be. And so I as embarked on my healing journey, I too embarked on building my confidence and voice as a parent. I have to be the best advocate for my child who just so happens to be my nephew.

09.12.22

by Tannika Nikeya

What God Says About You, Own It!

https://youtu.be/n_KABRI26HM

06.25.22

by Tannika Nikeya

Real Confidence

Sometimes, you can lose your self. And even your confidence. Sometimes, the enemy’s lies start getting louder than the truth of God. Or your confidence never fully bloomed from the start. May you see yourself through the eyes of God. May you come to love yourself because God first loved you and His love for you is beyond measure. May you remember your worth is not predicated upon what you do or what titles you bear. May you heal and exhale in the presence of a gracious and patient God. May you remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made. May you walk into the room with the brightest smile, a persevering and resilient attitude, and a peaceful heart as you learn to trust God through each day.