Category Archives: God’s Glory

08.10.25
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6 Pillars of the Fear of the Lord

This Sunday, I stayed home from church — not out of neglect, but out of necessity. With much work and my body being in a lot of pain this week, I listened to my body and followed my heart and took a rest.  And sometimes, honoring God means pausing from our usual routines to care for the temple He’s given us. Today was one of those days, a Sabbath for both my body and spirit.

And with that, I was also led to study the Fear of the Lord. So, what is the fear of the Lord? Is it being afraid that God is chasing you down with lightning bolts and drizzles of fire behind every fleeting footsteps?

No. The Fear of the Lord is not about terror. For “Fear of the Lord” the main Hebrew word used in the Bible is:

יִרְאָה (yir’ah) — pronounced yeer-AH

Root: יָרֵא (yare) — to fear, revere, or stand in awe.

Meaning: Reverence, respect, deep awe, piety. 

It’s an awareness of God’s holiness that shapes your behavior and keeps your heart humble before Him. With the Fear of the Lord and God’s love, God wants us to run to Him, not away from Him.

Before I go any further, I want us to read Psalm 34. Then we will walk through what God says about the Fear of the Lord in His Word.

Psalms 34:1-22 NLT
[1] I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. [2] I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. [3] Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt his name together. [4] I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. [5] Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. [6] In my desperation, I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. [7] For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. [8] Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! [9] Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. [10] Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing. [11] Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. [12] Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? [13] Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! [14] Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. [15] The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. [16] But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil; he will erase their memory from the earth. [17] The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. [18] The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. [19] The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. [20] For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken! [21] Calamity will surely destroy the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be punished. [22] But the Lord will redeem those who serve him. No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

In Psalm 34, David, who pretended to be crazy in front of Abimilech to escape danger, gives his praises and testimony, gives an invitation to experience God’s goodness, gives instruction in the Fear of the Lord and lastly, details God’s care for the righteous. 

But let’s delve deeper into the Fear of the Lord. What does God say about it further:

Proverbs 9:10:
Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. (NLT)

Proverbs 1:7:
Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (NLT)

Proverbs 3: Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. (NLT)

Hebrews 12:28:
[Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. (NLT)

Proverbs 29:23 & 25:
[23] Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.
[25] Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. (NLT)

Psalms 105: 1-8:
Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, you children of his servant Abraham, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones. He is the Lord our God. His justice is seen throughout the land. He always stands by his covenant— the commitment he made to a thousand generations. (NLT)

Now that we have read some scriptures on our topic of study, let’s bring it home with the five pillars of the Fear of the Lord.

The 6 Pillars

  • Protection – Fearing the Lord is a safeguard, placing you under God’s loving protection. Corresponding scriptures: Proverbs 14:26; Proverbs 19:23)
  • Knowledge – True understanding begins with reverence for Him. (Proverbs 1:7)
  • A Heart of Praise, Reverence, and Respect – At its core, the fear of the Lord is respect, reverence, and honor. It’s an attitude of worship that shapes everything we do. (Psalms 2:11; Psalms 33:8; Psalms 130:2-5; Psalms 105:1-8)
  • Wisdom – Discernment and right choices flow from fearing the Lord. (Psalms 111:10; Job 28:28)
  • Dependency Upon God – Fearing the Lord means trusting Him completely, rather than relying on our own limited understanding. I’m reminded daily that without God, I can do nothing. (Proverbs 3:5 & 6; Psalm 130:5)
  • (I forgot this one during the initial writing stage) Godly Sorrow – Godly sorrow is true repentance, and with it comes the fear of the Lord. Because He is holy and worthy of honor, our hearts—growing in spiritual maturity—will turn away from the things that keep us from drawing closer to Him and dwelling in His presence. (James 4:9)



Why does the Fear of the Lord Matter Today?

In a world that encourages self-reliance and pride, the Fear of the Lord keeps us humble, safe, and aligned with truth. Jesus is the truth, the life and the way. As believers, we are to recognize God’s power and holiness and respond accordingly. We must value what He says over what the world says, putting Him first and acknowledging His authority. We worship Him in spirit and in truth, not because He has an ego, but because our spirits respond to His character and His unfailing love. Ultimately, this leads to obedience. We want to honor Him in everything we think, say, and do. Living a holy life is a challenge, but with God’s grace, we can do it one day at a time.

Action Step

Take a moment today to ask yourself: in what ways am I showing respect, reverence, and honor to the Lord in my daily life?

Also, check out the corresponding video up on YouTube now!

What is the Fear of the Lord & Why it Matters?

07.18.25
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Pick Up Your Mat & Walk

I was inspired to write this post after God gave me a word of encouragement for my loved one and subsequently a reminder for myself. We are living in such uncertain times, but God is faithful, and He wants us to trust Him more than ever. The despair can sometimes be overwhelming and leave us in a paralyzed state. But we must believe God to get up. There is also a video of encouragement now up on YouTube, so check that out as well, and please share for those who also need encouragement: https://youtu.be/ltPcmKs92uE?feature=shared

It is hard to come out of despair when depression and sadness weigh you down.

What about the years of disappointment and sickness?

Hopelessness and financial hardship?

Stress and fear that feel never-ending?

When life shifts painfully and unpredictably, we wonder:

Does God still care?

Because honestly, He seems silent… and absent in the pain.

You’ve been waiting on this long road for someone—anyone—to finally stop.
To finally see you.
To finally help you into your miracle.
Your healing.
Your breakthrough.
Your new beginning.
Your change.

You begin to wonder: Maybe God doesn’t care that I’m at my breaking point. Maybe this is punishment. Maybe He won’t come through this time…

You feel weary and stuck. Life has bruised you and kept you in a place where you’re both hurting and somehow comfortable in the ditch of despair.

Yes, trials and tribulations are part of life in a broken world. Sometimes, we suffer because of our own choices and sin. Other times, simply because life happens. And sometimes, we suffer for Christ’s sake. But no matter the reason, God uses every trial to build character, deepen our faith, and draw us closer to Him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.
And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” – Romans 5:3–4

Still, it can be hard to rejoice and even feel grateful in the midst of suffering — especially when the weight of it all feels like it’s choking the very life and hope out of you.

Yet, we must remember that this too shall pass and that our trials are temporary.
We must also allow ourselves to grieve and give ourselves grace during this time.

And when Jesus walks up beside you — yes, you — and asks, “Do you want to be healed?” Don’t respond with who didn’t help you. Don’t explain why you think healing is impossible.

Just say… Yes

Receive His healing.
Receive His care.
Receive His love.

Let hope beat loudly in your heart again.

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit
to fill our hearts with His love.” – Romans 5:5

His love never fails.
His promises are yes and Amen.
His grace is enough.
And His salvation carries a love stronger than any present trouble.

Jesus is on His way, and He sees you. He has counted every sleepless toss and turn.
Every tear is recorded in His ledger. Every ache etched in His book (Psalm 56:8).

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” – Romans 8:28

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11

This season may be dark.
But there is light — because there is God.
He sees you.
He values you.
He weeps with you.
Even if your tears fall in the rain — He will not lose one.

Like the man at the Pool of Bethesda, you’ve been lying there waiting. You may be surrounded by others who are hurting, too. But Jesus sees you. He knows your exact condition. He wants to lift you up with His love and raise you out of despair.

“One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, He asked him, ‘Do you want to get well?’ ‘Sir,’ the invalid replied, ‘I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred…’” – John 5:5–7

But this is not about who helped you — or didn’t. This is about who is standing before you now.

Jesus.

Will you doubt Him because it’s been so long?
Or will you say yes and receive?

Don’t worry about the others who got healed first. Jesus has more than enough for you.

You tried before.
You struggled.
But now, it won’t be by your strength.

And once you say yes…

“Then Jesus said to him, ‘Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.’ At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked…” – John 5:8–9

The man was healed instantly.
But Jesus didn’t stop there. He told him to pick up the mat and walk.

Trust that when God speaks a word over your life, it will not return void. Trust that He wants you whole. Trust Him — and don’t forget your mat.

Because you won’t be in this place anymore.

And you don’t need to leave it behind for someone else to lie on.

That mat will become a testimony: proof that you’re not who you used to be. And proof God stopped beside you, saw you, and brought you out of a place you’ve been too long — all because He loves you.

May God heal you deeply — inside and out.
May your healing overflow and become a blessing to others. May you rise from this place of despair with holy boldness and walk into the future He’s already prepared. May your faith pulse through your steps.

It’s time to get up.

Pick up your mat.

And walk.

In Jesus’ name, Amen. 🙏🏾❤️

09.12.21
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Film Review

I decided that I would catch a movie today around the same time my preteen was going to be seeing a movie with the program he is in. And this was an opportunity to take myself out. And I could wait for him while the kids were watching their movie. The movie I wanted to see was only playing in the evening time so I had to look for another movie. One particular film caught my eye. It turned out to be a documentary and I admit I seldom watch documentaries. However, this documentary was being produced by the Kendricks Brothers, and they do not disappoint. Remember the Kendrick Brothers brought us War Room.

This documentary happened to be playing around the same time as the movie my preteen would be watching. I was elated and interested in how the documentary would actually be.

I cried, laughed and expressed my heartfelt “thank You, Jesus” several times all while sitting reclined in my comfortable red seat.

The documentary is called Show Me The Father. It is a documentary from the perspectives and voices of men I wasn’t too familiar with. I was familiar with the Kendrick Brothers and Dr. Tony Evans but not the likes of Deland McCullough and Sherman Smith.

The documentary was about the impact of the fathers on the lives of these men. Some had fathers or even father figures who were present and pouring into their children as best as they could. Other had fathers and stepfathers not present, abusive, or struggling in some kind of way. Oh and the twist at the end regarding one of the men. Ok, hope I am not spoiling anything.

Nonetheless, what the Kendrick Brothers wanted you to realize is that there is one father that can fill the void of an absent father or a negligent father, and who loves us beyond measure. And that He can also heal the hearts of men looking to change the impact they are making in their children’s lives.

Whether you are a father or mother, the child, young or old, saved or unsaved, please go see this film. Whether your father was present, a protector and a provider or not present like mine, go see this film. And bring your kleenex.

04.03.21
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Rivers Flow

Original Photo by Ben Guerin

This morning while beginning to listen to The River by All Nations Music during our devotion time, a poem popped into my spirit. Well, the first line of the poem popped into and it flowed from there. Today is a new day and God’s manifested presence is available for His children. In fact, it has always been available for His children. There is a difference between God being present everywhere and being in the presence of God ( https://www.crossway.org/articles/10-things-you-should-know-about-the-presence-of-god/) For, example, I am in my house with my family but right now, as I type, they are not in my presence. They are not present with me. They are not experiencing every facet of my being. Although the Holy Spirit dwells on the inside of us, believers of Christ Jesus, and richly so, we still need to experience the manifested presence of God. In fact, dwell there.

Let us abide in God as He abides in us. Let the truth, life and the way guide us and our daily lives. Let us receive the life and life to the full Jesus came to give us. Let us get powered up and revived to walk according to the Spirit.

Are you growing weary mentally, physically and/or spiritually? God can and will restore your strength. He can give you hope for tomorrow. He can revive you to carry on to finish the race.

Take one day at a time. Trust Jesus. We can and will overcome.

Poem:

Rivers Flow

Let the rivers of living water flow freely through the canal of my spirit

Let the clear, serene, warm and firm wave flow through my ears to my heart

So I can hear it.

Let His love fill me in and up

Holy Spirit, have Your way

All of me knows I need all of You

You, my God, are more than enough.

–By Tannika Moore

Be encouraged.

03.26.21
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Lioness

There are times anxiety and the issues of life make me forget how big my God is and that He is God Almighty. Sometimes, I am riddled with so much fear and stress that I can feel powerless and lethargic in moving forward. Subsequently, my prayer life and ability to trust Jesus wanes, and I am left unable to see myself as the warrior God sees me as and unable to walk in His authority confidently. I have learned, however, that I don’t have to rely on my own strength to push through. In fact, apart from God I can do nothing. He is my strength. Everywhere I go, He is there. Every concern I have, He cares. Every need I have, He provides. With His armor, I can roar His Word through prayer. I am more than a conqueror and no weapon formed against me shall prosper. Before I present to you my poem, first read these scriptures and be encouraged.

Not that I have already obtained it [this goal of being Christlike] or have already been made perfect, but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that [perfection] for which Christ Jesus took hold of me and made me His own. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:12‭-‬14 AMP

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 NLT
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37 NIV

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 NLT

Lioness

Lioness,

It is time to wake up and roar

There are some things you can no

longer ignore

You have to reach your full potential

You have to seize your destiny

Fulfilling your purpose is essential

To living and protecting your heart and

your cub

You have to seek Him first and allow

His will to be done as it is in Heaven

above

You are to represent Him in every way

You are to impact the world around you

starting today

No time to slumber

It is no longer day

It is the night

You are more than a conqueror

Rise up in all of His might

Written By Tannika Moore

Available in Bring It To The Surface

via Amazon now!

08.20.20
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Throwback Thursday: Go To War

Happy Thursday! This throwback originally published on September 9, 2016 is a must read for this season. We must remember that we are in a battle whether we want to be or not. Please read this throwback and make sure you put on daily, besides your mask, the full armor of God.

Recently, while reading the bible, I realized this wasn’t just my daily routine reading (which it should never become just “I read it just to say I read it”). I was reading Deuteronomy 20. This chapter details Moses teaching Israel the laws for going to war. I realized God was speaking to me. In fact, He was teaching me and revealing to me things I had not come to understand until now.

GOING TO WAR

When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. 2 When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. 3 He shall say: “Hear, Israel: Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. 4 For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

5 The officers shall say to the army: “Has anyone built a new house and not yet begun to live in it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else may begin to live in it. 6 Has anyone planted a vineyard and not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoys it. 7 Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her.” 8 Then the officers shall add, “Is anyone afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his fellow soldiers will not become disheartened too.” 9 When the officers have finished speaking to the army, they shall appoint commanders over it.

10 When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. 11 If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. 12 If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. 13 When the Lord your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it. 14 As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the Lord your God gives you from your enemies. 15 This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby.

16 However, in the cities of the nations the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. 17 Completely destroy[a] them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you. 18 Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the Lord your God.

19 When you lay siege to a city for a long time, fighting against it to capture it, do not destroy its trees by putting an ax to them, because you can eat their fruit. Do not cut them down. Are the trees people, that you should besiege them?[b] 20 However, you may cut down trees that you know are not fruit trees and use them to build siege works until the city at war with you falls.—Deuteronomy 20

BATTLING

Plenty of times in my life, I’ve let the devil intimidate me. I start to focus on the problems, storms, and the SIZE of my God-given assignments and subsequently my weaknesses and insecurities to keep me from fulfilling the things God has for me to do and overcome. I have went to the battlefield trembling and unprepared to put up a fight. I have had battles at work, in my relationships, and with anxiety and fear. Yet, we all have battles and you probably either just came out of a fight or going in one. Real talk, this is life. No journey is all roses and beautiful green grassy fields. Sometimes, your fields become brown and your grass becomes flat because Goliath stepping all in it and messing it up. But God!

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.—Ephesians 6:12 KJV

As always, here are some Tools to encourage you along your Journey!

You have to remember that although some battles you may lose and some fights may wear you out, Jesus won the war and every believer is on the winning team. You are more than a conqueror and God has given you every weapon you will ever need to beat the devil’s behind and walk victoriously. Here is what I learned about going to war:

  • Don’t be afraid.

Naturally, you begin to assess your opponent’s strengths as well as your weaknesses. The devil gets you to do that—focus on the problem, focus on how he can retaliate, and what can further go wrong. He loves to intimidate.

God will neither leave you, nor forsake you.

God will fight for you.

Jesus doesn’t just have the solutions; He is the SOLUTION!

  • Talk with a spiritual authority and especially JESUS FIRST.

A spiritual authority/mentor such as your pastor will help you to get some clarity on the situation.

They will encourage you.

They will intercede for you and pray with you.

  • Get your affairs in order.

Put things in perspective.

Pray for God’s perspective so you can see it the way He does.

Assess how and when you should be “fighting”. Do you just pray and be quiet? Do you seek outside help? Is this a preparation period or a go period?

Have you forgiven others and have you mended what God has told you to mend? Are you walking in love? Are you providing for your household?

Is this really a battle or a diversionary one? The devil loves to distract us.

  • Are you pessimistic?

Do you have disbelief that God can move and do what He said He will do? Are you surrounded by other believers like this?

If you are pessimistic, those fears, disbelief and negativity can rub off on others.

Get with people who not only will help you to search God’s Word on the matter but believe and fight with you and vice versa.

Get with believers who remember that they already won because they are on the winning team.

  • When you are struggling with someone, be a peacemaker.

Don’t go looking to fight naturally.

Handle any wars period spiritually for we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Right? I know some people TAKE you there. Sometimes, I too have to catch even my thoughts because that is where the suggestions of giving someone an old fashioned butt whooping starts. Jesus, help us!

Perhaps that person is too struggling with something and cannot see clearly. Perhaps they are not. In any event, ask God for wisdom.

God will make your enemies your footstool, but the key is to LOVE and don’t be so proud. Love them anyway no matter the outcome.

  • Check the sin in your life.

Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ Jesus.

Cherish sin no more.

Ask God to reveal the root cause of any sin in your life and give you grace to repent.

Repent wholeheartedly.

  • Be a life-giver and a fruit-bearer.

When you are hurt and wounded, sick and frustrated, tired and fed up, you can do and say things you regret.

You can make decisions that you would later regret.

You can take every innocent thing a person does and think it was meant for harm, become easily offended, and want to retaliate as well as cut people off for good.

Don’t destroy others around you. Don’t stunt the growth of your love walk and yourself.

  • Finally, OBEY GOD and saturate in His Word.

His Word is synonymous to His wisdom and His will. You need all three: His Word, His Wisdom, and His Will.

God’s Word is a weapon.

Obedience is better than sacrifice. Obedience to God protects you, helps you and brings you prosperity.

JESUS used the Word against the enemy when he was tested. Jesus won! https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+4

  • Bonus: Pray and Praise! Talk with God and praise His Holy Name! Prayer and praise too are weapons!

Now GO TO WAR!

Put your shoes on honey, our journeys await,

Tannika

_________________________________________

To check out my new book, Bring It To The Surface, click here!

01.01.20
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As I Look Back Over The Decade…I Got A Testimony

I saw people’s posts of their decade reviews and their end versus their beginning of the decade comparisons. This prompted me to review my decade and as I also looked at my 2019 vision board, I realized that God has been good. He is always good but sometimes the Holy Spirit need to give you a reminder. I saw some things on my vision board have been and are steadily being accomplished. And all glory goes to God!

I am also reminded some battles are not to be conquered in one fight but over a period of time so we can learn to depend on God. So some things may have seeped over into 2020 but be encouraged. I am speaking to myself too.

This decade, I became a homeowner and a parent/caregiver to a relative. I also started my online t-shirt business (on hiatus now and I am in prayer about it) and wrote and published three books within this decade. I was able to learn and grow professionally and spiritually. I healed from heartbreak and realized some of my deal breakers. I made it through betrayal and learned what true forgiveness looks like.

Instead of hiding it, I became more transparent in my struggles with anxiety and fear, especially with those I love. I also got my driver’s license in this decade and got acknowledged at work for my contributions. I saw my students grow and step out of their comfort zones. I bore fruit even during difficult seasons and impacted others in ways I could not have done without God. I also battled debt and high property taxes but saw God provide.

I learned I needed better self-care, I needed to set boundaries, and I needed to learn that I can’t earn God’s love. My family and I overcame some things I thought my family and I would not survive. I also learned that it is crucial to see things from God’s perspective. I journaled in my note pad like crazy. I did self-assessments prompted from bible plans and self-reflection. I blogged. I led a women’s group and bible study and we learned about waiting with God and learning to trust Him. I maintained a gratitude journal.

I travelled to New York with friends for the first time. I had a ball and it was such a faithcation. I went to a Christian concert at the House of Blues by myself and had a ball. I went to a Christian Education Retreat twice. I learned some awesome things. I learned about trauma care and self-love. I went to Atlanta for the first time and for a college tour, thanks to my job. Last year, my family and I found a cool, inexpensive place to travel to that is peaceful and a train ride away from home, thanks to not having at the time the money to go on vacation. I saw my family grow and get closer. I got such an awesome birthday gift in 2018; my youngest niece was born on my birthday.

I completed a Mental Health First Aid training for those who work with youth and realized also my mental health is important. I realized some of your battles people won’t understand and some blessings and successes people won’t cheer with you. The latter one broke my heart. I did the thing that rattles my nerves and spoke at a few events. I took deep breaths. I had anxiety attacks. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. I exercised here and there, valued my love for walking, and realized the importance of stretching every day. I worked on building my confidence. I started wearing a little concealer and foundation (something I thought I would never wear) and embraced my thick eyebrows. I learned how to do my own crochet hair styles. However, I still don’t know how to crochet a scarf. I gave up. I will try again this year. I learned that I enjoyed preparing Bible study lessons because I love God’s Word and preparing a lesson helps me to break it down for myself also. I learned that I can’t do everything or be everything, and that is okay. I learned that sometimes you have to encourage yourself.

I prayed for God to teach me full surrender. I talked with Him about being afraid and not feeling like I could make it some days. I have a ways to go but I am not where I started. And although I ended 2019 still feeling anxious, I survived. I thank God for being my Father, my friend, my provider, my coach, and my protector. I also thank Him for being patient with me and loving me through every season, imperfection, fear, and triumph. May I lean into God evermore in 2020 and this new decade not for what God can give me or do, but for who He is. I am nothing without Him and can’t do anything without Him. I am more than a conqueror. I am grateful.