These are just some things that happened in 2022. We also lost one of our dear mothers of our church as well as my precious baby cousin this year. It has been a rollercoaster of a year; some ups and downs but thank God for the lessons and love we also received.
God bless you all and have a wonderful New Year Day!!! See you in the New Year.
Tannika Nikeya😘
I have been on this journey of healing for some years now. But this particular season, here are some of the things I am learning or have learned.
1. There are a lot of perspectives, opinions and views. Learn to chew the meat and spit out the bones.
2. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with where you are in life, what you need and what you want. (Talking and listening to God about such is crucial and use wisdom when sharing with others.)
3. Sometimes our hearts can deceive us or open up a door that we didn’t mean to and knew we shouldn’t open. However, we can still learn a lesson within that moment of our hearts deceiving us.
4. Healing isn’t always pretty or comfortable for us.
5. God will definitely get your attention. And the enemy will definitely try to also, and often succeed in doing so. Be vigilant.
6. You can be growing and healing yet still feel stagnant and not whole.
7. What you thought you wanted was not really what you wanted. And what you need is what you never knew you needed.
8. Insecurities can tell on you even when you think they are hiding or quiet.
9. Maintaining calmness and managing your emotions is not a sign of weakness. Neither is expressing your hurt and pain a sign of weakness.
10. People will underestimate you. You are resilient and persevering and discerning. Thank God for that!
11. Be alert. You are being watched. Be wise in your actions and speech.
12. Sometimes, you isolate yourself. Sometimes it is a good thing, sometimes not. But there are times God will separate you or call you to an “alone” season and when He does, don’t fight it. Draw closer to God.
13. You are not perfect and that is okay. You are human. God loves you: spirit, soul and body.
14. Don’t let what other people think consume you. Hold God’s view and word above others!
15. Embrace your limitations and your realities. Real talk. All the while knowing that God can do the impossible.
16. You should have set boundaries like yesterday.
17. Silence is necessary at times.
18. Gaslighting is real and yes, you can even gaslight yourself.
19. Fear and anxiety will let you get in the car but stop you from taking off.
20. You must allow God (and possibly a therapist) to help you get to the root cause of some of your issues and traumas as well as pull down the things that are holding up your strongholds.
What have you been learning in your current season of healing? Put them down in the comments below.
Someone may be experiencing a loss, burnout, anxiety, depression, consistent stress. And when someone expresses his/her heart, issue or struggle, offer compassion and a listening ear. (If saved) Let the Holy Spirit lead you from there.
But do not say these things:
Just pray about it.
Stop saying that.
Everyone has anxiety.
Be strong.
These statements can sound dismissive. They can sound insensitive. How do you know the person isn’t praying and that fight to get out of the bed or talking with someone was the answer to their prayers. Yes, sometimes a person saying things out of habit or unloading on another can be frustrating or even overwhelming. When it is too much, you have the right to protect your boundaries and your own mental health. However, don’t leave your compassion to the wayside.
Don’t tell someone “everyone has anxiety or depression right now”. You took the focus off of the person needing someone to listen and put the focus on everyone. It seems dismissive and one can be left feeling that they should have never said anything. Even moreso, one can feel like what he/she feels doesn’t matter or isn’t of concern. “If everyone else is dealing with this why I am complaining. Just deal with it.”
“Be strong.” As if expressing yourself and struggling is a sign of weakness. And one must learn to process everything they feel instead of ignoring it.
In any event, let us show compassion. Not every time someone needs advice but if you must, use wisdom, preferably Godly wisdom. And most importantly, listen. Sometimes, people just want to be heard and some of us are doing the work to overcome. We just need perhaps a hug (upon permission), a prayer or encouragement, patience, or just to be seen and heard.
I don’t know if it is because of the Christmas season and day or because I am having some writing flow this week (been having Writer’s block for a while), but here is another post.
As I lie down in bed and after finishing composing my previous post, I am filled with thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. I thought of an elder who took time to teach me how to drive and pass the driving test. To this day (although unfortunately, I have anxiety and driving anxiety), I still remember the things he taught me as well as his kindness and patience. Mind you, I got my license late in the game. Another person I am grateful for is another elder who I endearingly called my god granny. Her humor, wisdom, kindness, and jazzy spirit was so amazing. I miss both of them, Elder Heath and Sister Dixon.
There are a lot of things that you may still be dealing with, but I challenge you to make a list of things and people you are grateful for. Let’s go! I just named two people. I am also grateful for a new day, a warm house, and family… The list goes on. I am thankful especially for my Jesus!!!!! Without Him, there is no me or no hope.
What or who are you grateful for?
This year went by quick but seemed so long. It is like 2021 copied and pasted 2020. The struggle was real. And we are continually learning to deal with the new normal. I was going to do a post about my year in review with more pictures, but naw. I don’t need to post anymore selfies or photos or make it all about me. This year was stressful and blessful at the same time for me and I bet for many of you all also, and that’s that. I just pray as we approach a new year that the things we need to fall off fall off so we can walk lightly and respond well in this new year as well as receive what God has for us. And learn what we need to learn to pass some tests and overcome some more things. I pray for those of us struggling with anxiety and depression to pack on courage to keep going and to take one day at a time, trusting God all the way.
Anyway, I am elated to say if you are reading this that you and I both made it to December and we are close to a new year. Although our finances may not be where they need to be, we still have a roof over our heads and food on our tables. Although we still have some more healing to do along our healing journey, we have come a long way. This year was not easy. It was stressful and heavy. This year also, I anticipated feeling depressed again on my birthday (12/10), but I actually felt ok. I even looked better despite having Covid and being in quarantine. My entire immediate family had Covid with mild symptoms and towards the end of our quarantine, we believe we also got food poisoning. But we are well today and grateful.
I know the holidays may be hard for some and many are going through right now, but I pray you have a joyous day. I pray you hear laughter, feel loved, and reach out to someone that God has just for you to touch your heart and lift your spirit and vice versa. I pray you have enough to eat. I pray that you remember those lost loved ones with a smile and that you understand that it is okay to grieve too. I pray that you are healthy or getting well. I pray that you start new traditions like watching a Christmas movie that you will watch every Christmas. Or cook a new dish and share it with your elderly neighbor or single mom. I pray that you embrace yourself through your healing journey and take one day at a time. I pray you won’t be so hard on yourself and know that you are worthy and loved by God, the Great I Am.
Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
Christmas In The Winter Available Now At Amazon
I was briefly reading Psalm 55 before a meeting this morning, and as I came across verses four and five I realized it described how anxiety feels. I am grateful that David was able to share his heart with God and thousands of years later, many us, if not all, can relate.
My heart pounds in my chest. The terror of death assaults me. Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking.
Psalms 55:4-5 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.55.4-5.NLT
Anxiety can be felt in your chest as it pounds to the beat of stress and sorrow. Anxiety can be a lump in the throat making it hard to swallow the fear that does not want to submit and go away. Anxiety can be sweat and chills with tension and rapid eye blinks. Anxiety can be in the trembles of the body and the mind wandering a mile a minute with a plague of worries and thoughts. Anxiety can be in the avoidance of necessary activities in life and still step out on faith in moments while having a desire to run and hide, costing you freedom and joy. Anxiety can be the mind stuck in the past or stuck in the future. Anxiety can feel like death is following and no one can help or understand. Anxiety can feel like a death sentence as well as a life sentence. But God…
There is hope. And we are anxiety fighters. Thanks to God we can take one day at a time and fight through. We can develop courage and joy because the joy of the Lord will be our strength. We can learn about ourselves, how to endure, and learn to see ourselves the way God does. We can heal and grow, and many of us will receive the deliverance from the spirit of fear because God did not give us a spirit of fear, but that of power, love and a sound mind.
But I will call on God, and the Lord will rescue me. Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice. He ransoms me and keeps me safe from the battle waged against me, though many still oppose me. Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Psalms 55:16-18, 22 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.55.16-22.NLT
God is our safe place. God can and will sustain us. God cares about us and is concerned about everything that concerns us. God hears our cries and collects our tears. He is the answer to our problems. He loves us greater than anyone ever can. Jesus is a testament to His love for us. God reminds us to not fear. He is with us and He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is a present help in the time of trouble.
Let us ask God where we have not been trusting Him. Let us take a deep breath and rest in the God who loves us beyond measure and wants us to receive the life and life to the full He came to give us. Share with Him, like David, the contents of our hearts. And let us remember how good God has been and worship Him through the good times and bad, the certainties and doubts, and anxiety.
Be encouraged, loves. We are anxiety fighters.
Have you gotten your copy of Bring It To The Surface Poetry & Journal?
Around the time I was promoting my first self-published book, Setting The Captive Free poetry book, I did a promo photo shoot with some friends. I had us list what God had delivered us from. And I, myself, listed several things including anxiety, depression, generational curses, etc.
Looking back, maybe at that time that was true as life during that time was most likely okay and breathable. And I could honestly say God did deliver me from depression and even a suicide attempt years prior. I also know there were generational curses that were broken. But I wondered to myself as I saw a reminder of the I Am Free promo, photo shoot and post if I truly was free or capping as they say. Or maybe I felt free at the moment.
In any event, I notice that a lot of believers know that Jesus can and does set us free. Although we may still sin, sin no longer can reign in our lives. And although the world may never have the solutions to our problems, we have access to the throne of grace of the One who is the solution. But some of us are still walking around bound. The joy of the Lord is our strength but we rarely experience or spread joy. We are worried and stressed while God is ready to be given our cares and burdens because He cares for us.
Anxiety has plagued me for years. I would not realize until years later that even in college and teen years anxiety was present. It was present when I would get sick to the point of having to go back home after almost making it to the bus stop. And when I say I got sick, it was sick to my stomach… nevermind. Lol, I will stop there. It was present when I was lightheaded and hitting the floor. It was present at every moment of overthinking and worry. It was present with negative thoughts and self-pity. It was there when I felt like I disappointed someone. And anxiety is still present.
However, now that I know it is anxiety and what fuels it and what triggers it, I can have those informed conversations with myself and a professional. But more importantly now, I realize I don’t want to just feel and look free. I realize I can come to God and ask Him to help me to realize that I can be truly free.
Sometimes miracles and healing can happen overnight. Sometimes it takes time. I didn’t get this way overnight and there are a lot of components to address when someone struggles with anxiety or depression. So, I know this is going to take some time. But at the end of the tunnel, I pray that I am truly free. And that I heal from every stronghold and trauma and circumstance that is holding up the anxiety fear. I have to understand that deliverance sometimes is continual and I have to learn to trust God through the process/journey. As well as surrender every area and layer of my life to God.
So if the Son sets you free,(B) you will be free indeed( John 8:36). Our Savior granted us freedom, grace, mercy, and an unfailing love. It is time we walk fully in such.
Get your copy of Bring It To The Surface today!
Just recently, I had the privilege of getting an awesome word from my cousin-in-law. We talked about anxiety and fear, and we also talked about being afraid to fight and not being use to fighting. She encouraged me so. My heart was full.
I went on to talk about these topics with my sister and we concluded that sometimes it may not always be we are used to not fighting but that we are afraid of conflict. And sometimes we are afraid we won’t be able to respond the way we need to or even hold up during the fight or conflict.
And just this morning, as I prepared to walk the dog, I walked past the tv that had been left on and saw a clip of Divergent. One of my favorite movies. The clip was Four getting ready to take Tris in to the landscape of his mind to show her how to prepare for the final test. She can’t just do things how she would normally do them. She can’t just rush through or even avoid some things. She must show that she is indeed Dauntless and not that she is (spoiler alert) Divergent. And so this clip made the lightbulb go on in my head. I immediately thought about fighting. Not the throwing up fists and releasing punches but getting back up and persevering. Fighting with wisdom and faith and resilience. Fighting strategically.
Just maybe during this season, God is teaching me how to fight. We can’t always avoid a fight. We can’t always run. And we can’t, like Tris, rush through it and respond the way we normally would. Each fight may require a different strategy. And my cousin-in-law said something similar. Oh my, I am getting full again. This fight may be different than the previous fight. You may need to do more than praying, sis. You may have to fast. You may have to cut some things off and out.
It is found via Google search that “fear not/do not be afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times. God has to remind us daily to not be afraid. God wants us to remember who we belong to and that the war has already been won. He wants us to also know that we have a strong defense team (He, His Son and Spirit as well as His angels) and the best tactical gear (the armor of God and prayer as well as worship) in the world and heavens.
So, why is God teaching us how to fight or to fight in this season?
1. God wants us to face our fears. Just like Four and Tris had to face their fears in the landscapes of their minds, God wants us to face ours. He also wants us take every thought captive. Destroy every proud obstacle that keeps us from knowing Him. There is a war going on in our minds and the best way to bring peace to our minds is to train our minds to catch, check and change certain thoughts that do not line up with the word and will of God. Or the love of God. We should even check thoughts that may not seem detrimental or harmful and see if they are sowing seeds of confusion, distraction and complacency with the world, fear, etc. Fears as they say are false evidence appearing real but to our minds it feels so real. And our fears can stem from so much trauma in our lives that it is normal to feel the way we feel. But God doesn’t want our identities and lives to be rooted in fear. He wants us to overcome and live fruitfully. We can’t fully live if our lives are fully rooted in fear.
2. God wants us to learn how to fight. God has strategies to overcome and to persevere. He has plans that always succeed. And He has promises that awaits us. His wisdom is supreme and it can aid us and save us from making poor decisions sometimes made due to fear and emotions. And like I mentioned before, the next fight may be a different kind of fight and may need a different kind of strategy. God may want us to be still during this fight to learn that He will defend us and to build our confidence in Him. Or He may want us to increase in prayer and fasting. We may need to be much bolder and let some things fall off of us. We may be carrying so much pain and so many distractions that prevent us from fighting effectively and consistently. So, He may call us away to Himself to heal and reorganize our priorities. We need to seek Him diligently and saturate in His Word. Find scriptures concerning our issues, problems, battles and meditate on and pray these scriptures. Just because we are afraid of the backlash from the enemy, afraid that our loved ones will be uncomfortable or afraid that no one in our circle will fight with us doesn’t mean the battle will go away. And God is Almighty and with us. The devil’s fate is sealed. And he already lost the war. God got you. We must learn to fight and learn to trust God.
3. God wants us to know that we are not alone and that we are joining the fight with other believers and for others, saved and unsaved, who need us to step up to the battle line. Tris had Four to help her. Tris had to realize that Four and many others like her needed someone to stand in the gap and make a difference. There are generational curses that need to broken in our families. There are children who need our intercession. There are churches that need revival and marriages that need reviving. There are sick people that need healing. There are people that need deliverance. There are some people that just need to experience God’s love and joy, especially during the uncertain moments of their lives.
So, be encouraged. Today, you may not feel like fighting. That is okay. Say thank You, Lord, for a new day. Start there. And then continue to listen for His voice on how to proceed throughout the day.
Scriptures For This Post:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
II Timothy 1:7 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/2ti.1.7.NKJV
Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!”
Nehemiah 4:20 NIV
https://nehemiah.bible/nehemiah-4-20
They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
Jeremiah 1:19 NIV
https://jeremiah.bible/jeremiah-1-19
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.
II Corinthians 10:3-6 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/2co.10.3-6.NKJV
These are the nations the Lord left to test all those Israelites who had not experienced any of the wars in Canaan (he did this only to teach warfare to the descendants of the Israelites who had not had previous battle experience): They were left to test the Israelites to see whether they would obey the Lord’s commands, which he had given their ancestors through Moses.
Judges 3:1-2, 4 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jdg.3.1-4.NIV
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:2-5 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/jas.1.2-5.NIV
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/eph.6.10-18.NIV
❤,
Tannika🤓
Bring It To The Surface available now at Amazon.
Tannika Nikeya 